


"You're Still On Mute"

by LondonSpirit



Category: Schitt's Creek (TV) RPF
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Big Gay Love Story, Blow Jobs, Boys In Love, Complicated Relationships, Cooking, Denial of Feelings, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Falling In Love, Feelings Realization, First Kiss, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, Idiots in Love, Lockdown Fic, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, POV Alternating, Pandemics, Pining, RPF, Song Lyrics, Staying Connected Over Zoom, Talking, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, cause that's all they can do right now, so much pining, zoom dates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-16 00:29:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,327
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29444850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LondonSpirit/pseuds/LondonSpirit
Summary: Dan and Noah are in lockdown, one in LA, the other in Toronto. They have weekly chats over Zoom.Feelings are discovered and get addressed.Can the pandemic keep them apart or will they get their happy ending?
Relationships: Dan Levy/Noah Reid
Comments: 41
Kudos: 83





	1. NOAH

**Author's Note:**

> There was an [interview ](https://www.popsugar.co.uk/entertainment/dan-levy-super-bowl-snl-interview-48149816?utm_medium=redirect&utm_campaign=US:DE&utm_source=t.co) where Dan said he Zoom'd Noah every week during these trying times.  
> And then [Point_of_no_return](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Point_of_no_return/pseuds/Point_of_no_return) threw the idea at me of Dan and Noah playing strip poker over Zoom. My Muse was delighted! So we took it and ran with it. This is the result. (Sorry, there's NO strip poker but I hope this is still sufficient.)  
> It's set somewhat wibbly wobbly between April and September 2020 - the timeline's a bit off (but that's nothing new, is it?). It's all very timey wimey, but I hope that doesn't distract from these two idiots figuring out their relationship. 
> 
> Beta, as always, by my darling [MidgetRosie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midgetrosie) who's a freaking trooper! I would be lost without her!
> 
> And as always, this is a work of fiction and all only happening in my head. Everyone's single in this (sorry, Clare!).

“You’re still on mute.” 

Noah bit back a grin as he watched Dan fumble with the controls. 

“Nope, still not hearing you,” he said as Dan added an inquiring eyebrow to the toneless movement of his mouth. 

It was adorable actually; every week Dan needed about five minutes to get the Zoom call going - either he wasn’t able to unmute, the camera wasn’t properly set up or some other call came in. And even over two months into their weekly calls, Noah still had yet to be on a call with him and NOT have a notification ping up even though Dan was sure he’d turned them all off. 

“One would think you’d be a pro by now,” Noah said casually, sipping on his tea, watching Dan struggle. “I mean, how many interviews have you done this way? How many podcasts?” 

“More than I can count,” Dan’s voice finally came through. He sounded annoyed and the creases between his eyebrows were deeper than usual. 

“There he is,” Noah grinned, raising his mug at the screen. 

Dan snorted, but he leaned back with a sigh. 

“Have I mentioned that I hate technology?” he said, rubbing a hand over his face. 

“No you don’t. You love it. Otherwise we wouldn’t be able to do this,” Noah said, waving a hand at the computer. 

“You know, there’s this thing called telephone,” Dan grumbled, “people use it to keep in touch over long distances.” 

Noah huffed a laugh. “I think I’ve heard about that, yes. But then I wouldn’t be able to see your pretty face every week.” 

He bit the inside of his cheek as Dan glared at him, ducking his head. And even through the slightly pixelated connection Noah could see Dan’s cheeks flush red. He loved to tease him like this, watch him squirm when Noah flung random compliments his way. 

And if his heart ached with the need to be closer to him, well that was only his business. 

“How’s Red?” Noah asked, steering them back on track. 

They’ve had a routine, and Noah loved to stick with it. It helped. 

“He’s fine, tuckered himself out from our walk this morning,” Dan said, adjusting the camera so Noah could see Redmond curled up on the couch. 

“He looks cozy. How’s the weather over there?” 

“Too warm for April,” Dan replied, ruffling a hand through his hair. It’s gotten quite long, by his standards. Dan didn’t deem a Zoom with Noah enough reason to style it so it was curling freely around his head. It always made Noah’s stomach flip; knowing that Dan felt comfortable enough to let Noah see him like this, casual and not as put together as he usually presented himself to the outside world. 

Noah clenched his hand, making sure to keep it out of frame. 

“Should’ve stayed up here,” Noah muttered, hating himself for not being able to let that go. 

Dan sighed loudly and Noah made a face. 

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll shut up now. As for the weather, it snowed on Sunday, but it’s all gone again. How is the cocktail mixing going?” 

Leaning back, Noah watched Dan perk up - he spent the next 15 minutes describing the disasters and successes he’d had while trying to keep himself entertained during lockdown. 

Noah zoned out a bit, knowing Dan didn’t need his input. Instead he let his eyes roam over his friend, taking in the small changes that had happened since their last call. 

Dan’s hair was slowly losing its carefully maintained shape, the sides started to curl around Dan’s ears. His stubble was thicker than usual, almost verging on a proper beard now. Noah knew it wouldn't last though, Dan liked his stubble short and fuss free. During quarantine he had started to let it grow a bit but never more than two weeks before it became too much for him. Then he trimmed it back into its usual form. Noah ignored the disappointment whenever Dan greeted him freshly shaved; he liked the hairy, more casual Dan. 

He was always so put together, so very cautious about how the world perceived him. For all the lockdown interviews Noah had seen, Dan had styled his hair and dressed as carefully as he’d always done. 

Noah liked their informal calls, Dan was more carefree then, often wearing only sweatpants and a simple t-shirt, letting Noah see his softer side. Some days they chatted in the evening when Dan was winding down from a long day, and Noah started to prefer that version of him: easy going, letting down his guard, vulnerable and approachable. 

“Reid, are you even listening?” 

“Hmm?” Noah focused back on the screen where Dan was staring him down, and even through the less than optimal connection the full focus of Dan’s eyes made something in Noah’s stomach clench. 

“Am I boring you this much already?” Dan asked haughtily, frowning at him. 

Noah grinned, hoping Dan didn’t notice the tremble of his lip. 

“I mean, who talks about the correct way of making a Cosmo for ten minutes?” he shot back, smile turning more honest as Dan harrumphed. 

“Well, *I* did listen to you talk about tuning your piano and all its perils for half an hour a few weeks ago. And I faked interest so much better than you just did.” Dan said coolly. 

Noah laughed. “I’m sorry, I’ll try to work on my faking skills.” 

“You better. So, how was your week? Anything new on the songwriting front?” 

Noah sighed; now it was his turn to rub a hand over his face. 

“You’d think with all that free time it would be easier. Well, it isn’t.” Noah groaned in earnest. “Every day I sit down, very focused-” Dan chuckled at that and Noah glared at him. “As focused as one can be,” he amended with a smirk. “And yet-” The words trailed off, frustration taking over again. “I tried the mornings, the afternoons. I even tried the nights as some people suggested.” He pointedly met Dan’s gaze. “I’m definitely not a nocturnal writer” It made Dan huff another laugh. “But then again, one doesn’t really have much inspiration to write outstanding songs when the most exciting thing is the mail arrival every other day.” Grumbling Noah fell back in his chair, the slight frustration that was lingering all week breaking free. “How do _you_ do it? How do you get anything written in times like these?” 

Dan shrugged, his gaze finding Noah’s before skipping away again. 

“Imagination?” he said, a soft tease in his tone which made Noah roll his eyes. “If you have any, that is, of course,” Dan added, that infuriating smirk darting over his lips. 

“Daniel!”, Noah sighed, not really in the mood. Dan noticed instantly and his face softened, and once again it unfurled warmth in Noah's stomach. 

“I don’t know, Noah. I’ve had a few ideas during the past years, and now I have the time to work on them. Sometimes it just happens and then I take it and run with it. Sometimes I have to sit with it for a very long time and nothing will come of it.” Dan said softly, his fingers playing with a pen. He was still coming down from a day full of interviews, and the nervous energy hadn’t entirely subsided yet. It was another thing that should be annoying and yet it was such a Dan thing, it made Noah smile despite himself. 

He exhaled deeply. As much as he hated being confined to his home, talking to Dan was the highlight of his week. Noah always looked forward to their calls; their friendship had grown over the past months, and they had become even closer than they had been before. 

“UGH, let’s not talk about that,” he said. “Anything interesting happening over there?” 

Dan shrugged, shoulders rolling as he flopped back into his chair. 

“Not really. Well, I had deer in the backyard last night,” he added, perking up a bit. “Poor Red almost had a heart attack. And then he got pissed at me when I didn’t let him out.” 

“You’re evil, Levy, denying him the excitement we humans can’t have,” Noah smiled, settling back into gentle teasing and easy conversation. 

“If I have to suffer, he does too,” Dan shot back, the smile on his face growing. 

“Oh please, that dog keeps you sane. Without him you would’ve scaled the walls already.” Noah said. 

Dan rolled his eyes, but his face softened. “He does.” He fell silent, searching out Noah’s eyes. “So do you.” It was quiet, and Noah wouldn’t have heard it if it wasn’t for the headphones he had started to use during Dan’s calls. “Keeping me sane, I mean.” Dan’s voice was low, and he held Noah’s surprised gaze for a moment before he looked away again. 

Noah swallowed hard, not knowing what to say to that. 

“Sorry,” Dan said, “I know we said not to talk about it. I just-,” His hands betrayed him, as always. They fluttered through the air like nervous birds, tugging on the hem of his shirt, raking through his hair, adjusting his glasses. Noah could almost taste his anxiety. 

“I miss you,” Dan whispered quietly and Noah’s heart ached at the softness of his words. 

“I miss you too,” he admitted just as quietly. His hands were tightly curled around the armrests of his chair to prevent him reaching out to Dan. Not that it would make a difference. 

They looked at each other, and Noah would’ve given everything to just drive over and see him in person. 

“Argh,” Dan said, shaking his head wildly, clearing his throat. “I'm sorry, long and stressful day.” 

Noah nodded understandingly. “Go and get some rest then,” he said even though he didn’t want to cut their chat short. 

Dan immediately shook his head. “Nah, I’m good, just need more coffee.” 

Noah groaned. “Daniel, go to bed, we can talk another time.” 

Dan wanted to protest but a massive yawn stopped the words. Noah chuckled, leaning a bit closer to peer at Dan. 

“Get some sleep, Levy” 

Dan muttered under his breath before he met Noah’s eyes. “You sure?” 

Rolling his eyes, Noah made a shooing gesture. “Yes. Good night, Daniel, I’ll see you next week.” 

“I have a few meetings next week, I’ll text you when I’m free, okay?” 

“You do that, I’ll be here.” There was something in his tone that made Dan squint at the screen. But neither of them addressed it; Dan turned the screen so Noah could say his goodbye to Redmond who huffed a soft woof at the computer before Dan smiled devastatingly sweet at Noah. 

“Night, Noah, take care.” 

“I will, you too.” 

Neither of them wanted to end the call - they kept watching each other with soft smiles on their faces. 

“Have we reached the part where I tell you to hang up, then you tell me and we’re going round in circles until we run out of battery?” Noah teased around the lump in his throat. 

“No, we’re not stooping that low,” Dan said, sitting up straighter. “Bye, have a good week.” 

“You too, bye.” 

Without another look Noah hit the ‘leave meeting’ button and the screen went blank. 


	2. DAN

“NOAH! Are you thereeeeeee?” Dan yelled, barely keeping from shaking the computer which wouldn’t help at all. 

“I’ll be right there, one second.” Dan could hear Noah rummaging around off screen, and exhaled. 

“You know, calling in the middle of the night and then not being there, could be considered a bit concerning,” Dan complained, pulling the blanket further up his chest. 

“Please, you’re basically nocturnal now,” Noah said, sounding a bit closer now. 

“Just because my sleep pattern is a bit off, doesn’t mean that a call at 3 am isn’t worrying,” Dan shot back, feeling the cold knot in his stomach melt a little. 

He had been in bed already, still typing away on his laptop - he’d had an idea that wouldn’t let him sleep. And when Noah sent the request for an ‘emergency’ Zoom, he had been wide awake, a short pang of panic surging through him. 

“It’s 6 am here,” Noah said as he flopped in front of the camera, grinning lopsidedly at Dan. 

“So? Your point being?” Dan asked sharply, ignoring his own lips curling into a small smile. 

“Some people start their day at 6,” Noah replied mildly, settling in.

“I’m not some people,” Dan huffed, taking in Noah’s appearance. He looked a bit rumpled, his hair was a mess. As with everyone, it had grown uncontrollably and was curling wildly around his head. There was a hint of stubble on his chin, barely visible in the low lights on Noah’s end. 

“No, you are definitely not,” Noah stated gently, and before Dan could ask what that was supposed to mean, the screen started shaking and Dan watched as Noah walked them over to the piano, setting the computer gently on top of it. 

Dan’s heart stuttered for absolutely no reason. “What are you doing?” he asked, cursing inwardly at the tremble in his voice. 

“I finished the new song.” Noah was beaming, his face going all soft and Dan dug his fingernails in his thighs. 

“So?” 

“So, I'm going to play it to you so you can give me your honest opinion,” Noah said calmly, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Which it wasn’t. Sure, they had talked about his music before, and Noah had played a few bits and pieces for Dan, but he never explicitly asked about his opinion on it. Especially not on any of the new songs. And not at this time of night. 

Dan gaped at him, speechless for once. 

“Close your mouth, Daniel, or something will fly in there.” 

Dan snapped his mouth shut. He watched in silence as Noah sat on the bench, wagging a finger at Dan.

“I don’t want to hear anything until I’m finished, okay?” Noah said, glancing up. “Make notes if you must, but please don’t interrupt me, ‘kay?” 

Dan nodded, pulling his notepad closer, showing it to Noah. 

“Good.” 

Dan leaned forward, watching as Noah lowered his hands onto the keys. His eyes met Dan’s for a split second before he looked past the camera as he hit the first keys. 

The second Noah opened his mouth and the words started to pour out, Dan was mesmerized. 

[ _Well it's hard to hear yourself think above the noise on our street  
_ _And it’s hard to cool down when your body just generates heat  
_ _And it's hard to write songs when you feel like you can't even speak  
_ _But it ain’t hard to tell you're the only thing I need_ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5rkw-mBezJY&ab_channel=qoncbc)

Dan had heard Noah sing before many times - hell, he had been on the receiving end of those honey colored eyes on more occasions than he could count, and it never failed to make his knees weak. But this was special. 

It felt as if Noah was singing not only _to_ him, but _for_ him. He didn’t look into the camera, kept his gaze either on his own hands or squeezed shut. And yet Dan _knew_ that this was for him. 

They had never really talked about the simmering attraction between them. 

At first it hadn’t been professional - they had worked together and despite the pull Dan had always felt, he had tried to maintain a healthy distance between them. 

And as the show had wrapped, their work had pulled them apart - Dan back to LA, while Noah stayed in Toronto. 

The tours late last year had brought them back together. There had been a few moments between them that made Dan wonder why they didn’t take the chance. 

And then the pandemic hit, separated them for good, with no way of seeing each other. In one of their first video chats Noah had tried to bring it up, but Dan had shut him down. 

It had been fruitless, what with the borders temporarily closed, and neither of them able to make it to the other one. 

They had avoided the topic during all their calls after that.   
  
_And I'm tired of sleeping alone, tired of waking up here  
_ _And I'm tired of suppressing these same unexplainable fears  
_ _And I'm tired of believing I've wasted my formative years  
_ _But with a hand on your side of the bed  
_ _I remember the words that you said  
_ _Oh it ain't hard to tell whose voice is in my head_

Apparently Noah was done with that now; Dan could hear the yearning in his words, in his voice. He tried to tell himself it was just Noah’s way of dealing with everything, with their life at the moment, with being alone during a time that was just painful and horrifying when one was single and on their own while the world was falling apart around them. 

_Just tellin' me_ _  
To hold on  
_ _Hold on  
_ _And you'll see  
_ _That we can be so strong  
_ _For so long  
_ _If you just keep holding on  
_ _Well, we're not there yet  
_ _But we're goin' home  
_ _But we're not there yet  
_ _So hold on_

His words were gentle, his face so soft that Dan wanted to reach out and touch him. He could hear so much in his words, all the things they had never talked about. 

And all the things they HAD talked about, almost in the exact same words, how they assured each other that they would get through all this, would make it however long it would take. 

_Well, we're not there yet_  
_But we're goin' home_  
_But we're not there yet_  
_So hold on_

Noah’s eyes were closed as he sang the last line, hands slowing down on the keys until he stopped playing, head hung low, shoulders slouching. 

Dan stared at him, speechless and heartbroken. 

“Woah, hey, are you okay?” Noah’s voice was low and as Dan focused on him, the screen was a bit blurry. 

“Are you- Dan, are you crying?” Noah asked, concern lacing his tone as he leaned closer, scrutinizing his screen. 

Dan shook his head but as he took off his glasses, he felt the wetness on his cheeks. 

Noah made a strange noise, half sob, half laugh. Dan couldn’t look at him; he kept cleaning his glasses, blinking to keep the tears from falling. As he finally felt in control again and looked up, the expression on Noah’s face took his breath away. 

“I guess that one works, huh,” he said after a while of just watching Dan. 

Dan only nodded, throat still a bit tight. 

“Yeah, you could say that,” he managed to say. 

Noah’s expression softened even more, and Dan couldn’t take it any longer. 

“That’ll be a tear jerker for the ladies,” he croaked with false cheer, forcing a smile onto his face. 

Noah tilted his head as he kept his gaze on Dan. “Didn’t write it for the ladies,” he said quietly, and Dan bit back a gasp. He sounded so much like Patrick. Full of confidence and only a hint of worry, but mainly knowing exactly what he was doing. 

“Noah,” Dan said, and then he just shook his head. Words failed him, and he didn’t know what to say. 

Noah nodded and shrugged at the same time, sensing that Dan wasn’t able to keep the conversation going. 

“I guess you don’t have any notes then,” Noah said, trying to lighten the mood. 

Dan shook his head again, running his hand through his hair, trying to ground himself. 

Noah hummed and nodded. “Well, thanks for listening-” Dan snorted which made them both smile. “I’ll let you get back to- well, whatever you were doing when I disturbed you.” 

“You never disturb me,” Dan murmured, the words just falling from his mouth without his control. 

Noah hummed, the softness on his face almost too much for Dan to bear. He couldn’t look away. Noah cleared his throat. 

“If you have any suggestions in the morning or whenever, you know where to find me,” he said, those honey colored eyes warm as they found Dan’s. 

He nodded, feeling tears tickle behind his eyelids again. “Will do. But I doubt it. That was…” he trailed off, not knowing what to say without making a fool out of himself and breaking out into tears. He willed the overwhelming emotions down before he could say more. 

“Thank you for sharing this with me,” he muttered quietly. 

“Of course.” Noah’s voice was just as quiet and the way he watched Dan closely made Dan’s heart ache. 

“I’ll see you soon,” he gritted out and before Noah could reply, he hit the end button. He set the laptop carefully aside, staring into the darkness of his bedroom. A small sob burst free and he pressed his hands against his eyes. He didn’t want to cry again, but the song and its lyrics hit way too close to home. Curling up under the covers he let the tears fall. Redmond came crawling into bed, nudging his nose into Dan’s hands and he gathered the dog against his chest, letting his soft fur soak up his tears until he fell asleep. 


	3. NOAH

"Hey, did I miss our date?” 

Noah sputtered as Dan came into view. He was dripping, water was running down his cheeks, his hair was slicked back, enhancing his prominent features. He was outside, the sunshine shimmered on his wet skin, and for a moment Noah was just speechless. 

“Noah? You okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost?,” Dan said, glancing over his shoulder, which made Noah laugh a bit hysterically. 

“Sorry, no, no, all good. And no, you didn’t miss our _date_ ,” Noah said, feeling heat wash over him. They never really labeled their calls, and hearing Dan so casually say ‘date’ made Noah’s heart skip a beat. 

“I just wanted to let you know, that I’ve sent the album your way, should arrive tomorrow or the day after.” 

“Ah, thank you, that’s very thoughtful.” Dan smiled at him; the screen was shaking as Dan propped the phone against something. Noah’s mouth went dry as Dan grabbed a towel, and his eyes were glued to the screen as he watched Dan quickly pat over his chest before wrapping the towel around his waist. With the camera pointed at Dan at an angle, Noah suddenly realized that Dan didn’t seem to be wearing anything. The towel was riding pretty low on his hips, and Noah couldn’t see the waistband of bathing shorts. 

“Have you been skinny dipping?” he blurted out, not able to contain his curiosity - and his arousal. The idea of Dan swimming naked in the middle of the day was rather hot. 

Dan raised an eyebrow at him, looking at him down his nose. It was supposed to come across slightly arrogant, but was ruined by a few stray water droplets Dan had to blink away. 

“Who the hell says skinny dipping?” 

“Californians?” Noah said dumbly, not able to tear his eyes away from Dan’s broad shoulders, still glistening in the sunshine. 

Dan shook his head as he flopped into a chair, adjusting the phone so Noah could see his face. 

“Nope, it’s swimming in the nude here,” he grinned, pushing wet strands of hair out of his face. 

“Oh, excuse me,” Noah grinned, trying to ignore the twitching in his pants. He adjusted his screen as well, just in case. “Did you swim in the nude then? During the day?” He made a scandalized face which made Dan bark a laugh. Noah slipped a hand out of sight and adjusted himself. Dan’s carefree laugh was one of the most erotic things for Noah. He didn’t get it very often but when he did, well. In moments like these he was almost glad he wasn’t with Dan, he would’ve had a hard time explaining himself. 

“Yes, mom, I did,” Dan snorted amused, gazing at Noah. “There’s nobody around here, I don’t even have neighbours. Well, none that can see into my yard.” With that Dan picked up the phone and for a moment Noah got an eyeful of Dan’s shoulders before Dan flipped the camera, showing Noah his backyard. 

As much as Noah despised LA, Dan’s backyard was quite something. Dominated by the large pool with its inlet jacuzzi, it curved around the house in a crescent shape, confined on both sides by huge hedges and bushes and at the end by the slope of the hills behind Dan’s property. 

“See, all by myself. Unless you count the deer that are somewhere out there. And there’s barely any air traffic so I’m safe from that as well”, Dan said, flipping the camera again, grinning widely at Noah. 

And for some strange reason Noah was relieved; the idea of anyone seeing Dan like this made hot jealousy burn in his stomach. He shook his head to clear it, smirking at his laptop. 

“Good,” he said, aiming for casual, but even to his own ears he sounded like a scorned lover. 

Dan tilted his head, one of those glorious eyebrows rising in a muted accusation. Noah smiled falsely at him, trying to distract him with silliness. 

“Mmkay,” Dan grunted, eyes still narrowed at Noah. The camera wobbled again, and from the angle it seemed like Dan was lying back in a lawn chair, the phone propped high enough that Noah could see his chest. 

It's been a while since Noah had seen Dan shirtless, and he couldn’t get enough of it. 

His gaze wandered over broad shoulders, down the one arm resting over his stomach, taking in the soft tan, the dark tufts of hair on his chest; not as much as Noah had expected, but enough to make his mouth water. His fingers twitched with the need to scratch his nails through the hair, feel its coarseness against his palms, maybe causing goosebumps to pebble the dark nipples- 

“Noah?” Dan’s voice was sharp and Noah had to force himself to look away and into Dan’s face. He was met with an expression he couldn't read: something dark and wanting, almost as if he enjoyed Noah ogling him like that. 

But before Noah could try to make sense of it, Dan exhaled - a bit shakily, unless that was a tremor in the connection - and pulled the phone up a bit. 

“So, you only called to tell me you sent me your album?” Dan asked. “You do know those things are mainly digital these days?” 

Noah shook his head, more to get himself under control again than anything else. 

“I know, but call me old fashioned, I wanted you to have something physical.” _Of me,_ he added in his head. The thought of Dan having his newest record, a special pressing just for him, being able to take it out of its case and putting it on the high end record player he had shown Noah a while back, made Noah oddly happy. And he wanted that for him. For them. 

For Dan to have a piece of him, of his hard work, of his music. It was the most valuable thing that Noah was able to give him. His music had always been something he could never live without, and sharing this first with Dan even through the distance was very close to Noah’s heart. 

“Well, thank you kindly then,” Dan said mockingly, making Noah roll his eyes. 

“You’re welcome. I’m sure you’ll have opinions about one or the other thing, so rest assured you can give them to me, and I will change nothing cause it’s locked in as is and there won’t be any changes happening anymore,” he said dryly, making Dan laugh. 

Noah was drinking in the sight of him: head thrown back, deep laugh lines high around his eyes, white teeth shimmering brightly in the sun. 

“God, you’re gorgeous,” he mouthed under his breath, instantly biting his lip. He was sure that Dan wouldn't mind hearing it, but they had somehow agreed to not talk about whatever was happening between them. And he was fine with that; he couldn't change anything about their current situation, not for the foreseeable future, so even if they acknowledged their attraction, it would only be cruel for them both. He still wished he could tell Dan things like that, that he liked his laugh, that he missed his touch, his simple presence. 

But he also knew that Dan was suffering a lot from the loneliness, and telling him he liked him and not being with him, would only make it worse. So all Noah could do were small gestures and his own way of showing Dan how much he meant to him, 

“Shit, I’ve got a meeting in twenty, can I call you back?” Dan said, pulling Noah out of his thoughts. 

“Yeah, sure, whenever you like, I’m not going anywhere,” Noah nodded, grimacing at a joke that had never really been funny. 

“Haha,” Dan grunted, heaving himself out of the chair, giving Noah an eyeful of golden skin and dark hair. “Thanks for the record, Noah, I appreciate it very much,” he said, the small smile on his lips genuine, making Noah’s throat close up. 

He shrugged. “Of course.” 

“See you later.” Dan waved at him and then the screen went dark. Noah stared at his own reflection for a long time before he finally turned off his laptop. 


	4. DAN

“Noah, can you sing Mariah’s _Hero_ for me?” Dan burst out even before he could see Noah’s face. 

“Huh?” When he finally appeared Noah looked so adorably confused, that Dan had to smother the giggle that wanted to break free. He exhaled deeply, trying to calm his over excited self. His heart was still racing, and all thoughts of keeping his cool evaporated at the sight of Noah’s face. He looked sleepy as if Dan had woken him, and for one brief moment Dan felt bad for calling so early. But then the reason why he called hit him again, and he didn't care much. 

“Can you sing Mariah Carey’s _Hero_?” he asked slowly, waiting for Noah’s reaction. 

“Now?” was his still very confused reply. And once again it struck Dan how baffling it was that Noah just went with whatever Dan threw at him. Even now. If Dan insisted, Noah would go and grab his guitar, singing to him with that gravelly morning voice; for one second Dan was tempted to just do that. 

Noah’s bewildered tone made him concentrate back on him. 

“Dan, it’s barely 6 am on your end.” His eyes widened comically. “Why are you even awake?” His brows drew together, deep creases appeared on his forehead and his sincere shock made Dan laugh again. 

“Are you okay?” Noah asked, squinting at his screen. 

“Never better,” Dan thrilled, grinning so much his face hurt. 

Noah’s eyebrows almost met in the middle as he stared back at Dan. 

“Blink twice if you need me to call someone,” he said slowly, suspicion mixing into the confusion on his face. 

“God, you’re adorable,” Dan blurted out, feeling himself blush instantly. He was bursting with excitement and awe and Noah’s cuteness was just too much. 

Faintly he thought it was a mistake to call Noah this soon; maybe he should’ve sat down for a second, calmed down enough to sort through his tumultuous feelings, keep himself in check enough to not blurt them all out unfiltered. 

But when the email appeared in his inbox half an hour ago -and after verifying it with the right people- he was freaking out so much he needed to talk to someone. 

And lately that someone was Noah. 

Trevor was already complaining that he didn’t call him as much as he’d hoped now that he was stuck at home. Dan had told him he was using the time to work and to write. Which wasn’t a lie; he’d never gotten this much done in a very long time. There were three rough drafts and two outlines in his writing folder, and he’d never felt this motivated to make good use of the forced time at home. 

And he _did_ zoom with Trevor and Michael every other week, sometimes every three weeks when he was too busy. Yet the weekly chat with Noah always took priority - he’d never told Trevor but he had the feeling he knew. They’d known each other for too long to keep secrets; they were basically soulmates - without the sex. They talked about everything, no matter how embarrassing or personal, yet Dan hadn’t really brought up Noah and their slightly complicated situation. He knew Trevor wouldn’t judge him; he would sit him down, calmly walk him through all the pros and cons, and help find a solution. Or he usually would. Right now, not even his closest friend could help with this. So he didn’t bring it up. 

“Why thank you, so are you,” Noah replied, a soft blush coloring his face. “What is going on? You look like you’ve found a cure for Covid.” He winced at that but barreled on. “Or won the lottery? Do you even play it?” Noah was babbling and the slight flush down his neck was something Dan would’ve loved to see up close and personal. 

“I just got an email,” Dan said, pronouncing every word carefully. 

Noah frowned again. He was in his living room, sitting at the small table by the window, the early morning light giving him a golden glow. Dan got distracted for a moment, letting his eyes wander over him, taking in the pillow creases on his cheek and the small curl above his ear that seemed to defy gravity. 

“Huh? You got an email? Oookay. Do we call the news?” Noah quipped, taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Oh hush you,” Dan shot back affectionately. He exhaled deeply, the butterflies in his stomach making him a bit nauseous. “That email was from Mariah Carey’s manager.” 

He watched with delight as Noah’s face fell; he barely managed to set the cup back on the table before leaning in. 

“Say what now?” 

Dan giggled happily. 

“You sitting comfortably? I got approached to ask if we would want to do a teacher appreciation Zoom for all those that can’t have a proper graduation. We, as in the cast of the show. Just a little something to show them some love. Well, and somehow you singing something came up, and I might have suggested something by Mariah, ‘cause you do that so well.” 

Dan winked at Noah, and was delighted as he ducked his head, averting his eyes. 

“Long story short, we ended up with Mariah fucking Carey wanting to participate, and I want you to sing _Hero_ because that’s perfect as appreciation. I already talked to Sarah, she can do this with you as you two are the only ones with proper singing voices. The rest will be background. I might have outlined some dialogue already and sent emails to everyone. We can have equipment sent out, things that everyone can easily set up on their own, no other persons needed.” 

“Woah, slow down there, cowboy,” Noah said, holding up a hand, “let me catch my breath for a second.” 

Dan grinned widely, watching Noah process everything. He knew how he felt. When he had started talking about this with his dad, he couldn’t really believe it either. 

“It was basically all arranged already, we could’ve done without her, which was the plan to begin with,” Dan explained, watching Noah’s face with amusement. “Dad and I thought it would be fun to have her involved and we sent out some emails, but didn’t put too much hope into it. But today, about half an hour ago, I got the okay that she’s in.” 

Noah stared at him, face suddenly so still that Dan thought the screen was frozen. 

“Noah?” 

Noah swallowed hard, so hard Dan could hear it. “And you called _me_ first?” There was something in his tone that made Dan’s hands tremble. 

“Uh, yeah,” he said, suddenly realizing that he probably should’ve called his dad or his sister, hell maybe even Trevor who had known about all this. 

He shrugged awkwardly, avoiding Noah’s knowing eyes. “You’re the one singing this. Hopefully,” he added quietly. “I mean, I know I haven’t asked properly, which I probably should have before we started all this. Shit. I’m sorry, Noah. If you don’t want -” 

“Daniel,” Noah interrupted his nervous blubbering gently, “of course I wanna do this. You don’t have to ask. Whatever you need.” He held Dan’s gaze for a long moment; those warm brown eyes melting some of Dan’s sudden nervousness like snow in summer. “How could I refuse to sing with the queen.” He was smiling now, bouncing a bit in his seat, and Dan let out a relieved breath. 

“Thank fuck for that. I wouldn’t know how to sell this to the others without you.” 

“If anyone could do that, it’s you,” Noah said, running a hand through his wild hair. 

Dan’s eyes lingered on his arms for a moment before he stopped himself. He pulled a notepad close, covered in scribbles. 

“Okay, now that you’re in, here’s what I need from you.” 

Dan started explaining what he envisioned for this, losing himself in the details and the minutiae of this. The video was supposed to be only a few minutes, but as always he’d pored over every single thing for hours already. Noah listened attentively, sipping his coffee, nodding along. 

“You really thought this through,” he said once Dan paused for a moment. 

“I might have lost sleep over this,” he admitted, not wanting to let Noah know how much sleep exactly. 

“I figured. So when is all this supposed to happen? I guess, it’ll take a bit to get it all organized, and have the stuff shipped out to everyone.” 

Dan nodded, taking off his glasses, rubbing his eyes. 

“Yeah, we estimated about two weeks or so until everyone’s got their things. Then we need to rehearse, record it, clean up the recording and edit it, which will take some time as well. So it’s probably a few weeks until this is finished.” 

Dan’s mind was spinning with ideas and opportunities and it took him a moment to realize that the look on Noah’s face was so fond it verged on adoration. 

“What?” Dan asked, trying to glare but failing. 

Noah only shook his head. “Nothing. It’s just nice to see you in full work mode again. It’s been a while since I’ve seen you this… happy.” 

Dan shrugged. “Not much to be happy about these days. Although-” He bit his lip, not knowing whether or not to risk saying what he’s been feeling for a very long time now. 

“Yes?” Noah leaned in, his brown eyes darker than before, mutely encouraging Dan. 

“You make me happy. Talking to you, seeing you...” Dan murmured, picking at the hem of his t-shirt, not daring to look at Noah directly. He heard him huff quietly. 

“You make me happy too, Daniel.” 

The words shot through Dan, lighting a small fire in his stomach. He blinked at the screen, meeting Noah’s warm gaze. They looked at each other for a while. 

“I’m sure you’re busy,” Noah said hesitantly, visibly forcing himself to push the laptop a bit away, breaking the moment. “So I don’t wanna keep you. Just let me know my schedule-” he chuckled, which made Dan smile as well, “-and I’ll be there with bells and whistles.” 

“Just your voice, that’s all I need.” Dan replied, adding after a moment of charged silence: “For now.” 

The expression on Noah’s face left Dan breathless, and his hand was shaking as he waved his goodbyes at Noah and ended the call. 


	5. NOAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: (probably wrongly depicted) anxiety.

“What happened?” Noah was propped up in bed, blearily blinking at the screen of his phone. Dan’s face was too close - Noah could see the tears shimmering in his dark eyes. “Are you okay?” 

Dan sniffed, shaking his head and nodding at the same time. “I’m fine, nothing happened. I’m just-” He hid his face in his pillow before he emerged again. “I’m just having a really bad day.” 

Noah exhaled deeply. He has started worrying more and more about Dan during the past few weeks. He had been all over the place after they finished the video; some days he was overly cheery and bubbly, and Noah had expected that after making something with his idol. But then the bad days started, days where Dan barely said a word during their calls. Noah had seen him like this before; only once or twice but he knew an anxiety attack when he saw one. 

At first he had tried to cheer Dan up, made silly jokes, kept him distracted with things he’d read or watched on television. But with every passing week, Dan had gotten worse. 

And now this, a call in the middle of the night. 

“What do you need? “Noah asked gently, trying to think what he could do to help. 

He heard rustling and could see that Dan was in bed, all curled up under what seemed like a mountain of blankets. He also heard a soft whine. 

“Is Red there?” Noah asked, sighing in relief as Dan nodded sharply. 

“Yeah.” He moved his phone, and Noah saw that the dog was curled up against Dan’s hip, pushing his head into Dan’s hand as if he sensed his needs. 

“Good.” Noah tried to think of useful techniques; he’d read about a few way back when Dan admitted that he sometimes suffered from attacks. 

“Can you-” Dan interrupted his train of thoughts, “-can you just talk to me? Keep me distracted?” 

Noah nodded instantly, holding the phone tighter, wishing for the nth time that he wasn’t so far away from him. He started hesitantly, just telling Dan about his day, no matter how uneventful it had been. He told him about the burnt toast in the morning, and about the tea he kept forgetting about, ending up with three mugs in three different rooms. 

While he talked he watched how Dan relaxed into his bed, how the pinched lines between his eyes softened, and he heard his breathing deepen. 

Following his instincts, he started singing, low and a bit off key; nothing special, a song he heard on the radio earlier, some half forgotten lullabies from his childhood his mom used to sing to him. 

Dan’s face relaxed some more and as Noah verged into commercial songs, there was a small smile flitting over Dan’s lips. 

“If I’m getting nightmares from that, I’m so coming over there and kick your ass,” he muttered and it made Noah smile. 

“I’d love to see that,” he replied quietly, snuggling into his own blankets. 

Dan’s room was dark, the only light came from his phone; and since Noah was also already in bed, it wasn’t much light to begin with. 

“I totally would.” Dan was slurring the words a little, and Noah hoped he’d fall asleep, he needed it. 

“I know.” 

“Noah?” 

“Hm?” 

“Why didn’t we take the chance when we had it?” 

To Noah’s surprise he knew exactly what Dan was talking about. They had always avoided the subject as they both knew it was pointless - at least at the moment. 

“I don’t really know,” he replied, trying to think of a concrete reason. “I mean, we were both busy with life. In different cities.” It took some will to not let that come out accusatory, but he could see Dan duck his head. “You know I don’t mean it like that,” Noah added, the darkness making talking about it easier. 

“Yes, you do. You hate it down here. Which is fine, I could’ve worked with that, you know. I mean, it would’ve been like this, zoom and phone calls. But I would’ve visited. You could’ve visited. We could’ve split the time in each city. I can write anywhere. We could’ve made it work.” Dan fell silent, his hazy eyes searching Noah’s. “We still could.” It was merely a whisper and yet Noah winced as if he’d yelled it. 

He wanted nothing more than to say yes. Yes to being with Dan, sharing a bed, maybe even their lives. 

“Do you want to?” he asked instead, trying to calm his stuttering heart. 

Dan’s heavy eyelids fluttered, darkened gaze locking with Noah’s, sharp and knowing and full of tentative hope. And just as Noah wanted to look away because he couldn’t bear it any longer, Dan sighed deeply, closing his eyes. 

“Yes.” Just one small word, but it overthrew Noah’s entire world. He leaned closer, the knuckles of his hand around the phone almost white. 

“Yes?” he breathed, hope surging through him bright and painful. 

“Yes. I have no idea when all this will be over, or how we are gonna do this. But I know we can figure something out. I’m tired of denying myself what I want the most. Which is you.” Dan’s voice broke at the end, and Noah’s heart ached with the need to be near him, hold him, take away the pain that showed on his face. All he could do right now, was smile shakily at Dan, hoping to convey some peace of mind for him. 

“We will think of something,” he murmured, pressing the tear that escaped into the pillow. 

“We always do,” Dan agreed, a slow smile spreading over his face that took Noah’s breath away. “Stay with me for a bit longer? I think I can sleep now, but I don’t wanna be alone.” 

Noah couldn’t keep the sob inside, squeezing his eyes shut. 

“Anything you want, Daniel,” he croaked. He slid down in bed, settling in for sleep, even though he was sure he wouldn't be able to. Propping his phone against another pillow, he watched Dan do the same. 

It almost felt as if they were sharing a bed, facing each other, the only sound their breathing, which was soothing. Noah felt himself relax deeper into the mattress, sleep dragging him down. 

“I’m glad you called, Daniel,” he murmured, flashing a sleepy smile at the phone. 

“I’m glad you answered,” Dan replied. His eyes were closed already, and Noah could tell that he was only one small moment away from much needed rest. 

“Good night, Dan,” he whispered, “sweet dreams.” 

“‘Night Noah.” 


	6. DAN

“Hey.” Dan gave a little finger waggle at Noah as he appeared on his screen. He felt still a bit raw after that late night call a few days ago. He also had no idea where they stood and how to proceed from there. He put his hopes into Noah and his confidence that at least one of them knew what they were doing. 

“Hey you.” Noah was settling into the chair on his porch, the soft evening light casting twilight shadows over him. 

Dan was also outside, soaking up some much needed sunshine after a week of grey and wet early summer days. It never got really cold, not even at night, but the humidity made breathing hard. At least that’s what it felt like for Dan. Today was the first dry day. There was still some mist at the back of his yard, but the air wasn’t as moist anymore and much more breathable for him. 

He adjusted his screen so he could see Noah better. 

“Thanks for the care package. The blanket is perfect.” Dan said, smiling shyly into the camera. “Haven’t tried the tea yet, but it smells amazing.” 

Dan had almost fallen over when a large parcel arrived only a day after his breakdown. There was no sender info, but as he opened it, his heart leaped into his throat. A weighted blanket in a deep black, a big box of calming teas and a book with meditation exercises that could be done in front of a computer or in bed. There was also a tiny glass vial with a label that read NR. As Dan opened it curiously, the scent surrounded him like a warm hug and he started crying for real. 

He’d washed the blanket immediately, laid it out on the dryer in the back - there was nothing like the air dried laundry smell. It took almost two days due to the humidity but as soon as it was dry enough, Dan put it on his bed and very carefully misted it with the content of the vial. 

He had never slept better. He had no idea how Noah had known, or how much be paid for that lightning fast delivery, but he had never been so grateful for him and his sharp eyes: he must’ve seen the mountain of blankets and covers Dan had hidden under to try to calm himself. 

Noah smiled at him, running a hand through his hair. 

“You’re welcome. I’ve read they’re supposed to help with anx-, with stress. Let me know if it does, otherwise I’ll write an angry review on their website.” 

Dan chuckled softly and nodded. “Will do. So far it helps.” He rubbed a hand over his neck, pondering whether or not to say something about the cologne. 

“Did you find and use the vial?” Noah asked, unerringly sensing Dan’s dilemma. 

“Yes and yes.” Dan ducked his head, trying to hide the blush that crept over his cheeks. 

“Good.” Noah caught Dan’s wandering gaze and held it. “That's what it was for. If I can’t be there with you, I can at least give you a bit of myself.” 

Dan smiled helplessly at his screen. “That was very… thoughtful of you.” 

Noah grinned openly and winked at him. “What can I say, I’m a very generous person.” 

Dan shook his head in amusement, the small smile tucked into the side of his mouth threatening to break free. 

“A bold claim.” The words fell from his lips of their own volition, almost like muscle memory, and it made him groan in embarrassment. 

“Ugh, I’m sorry,” he said, averting his eyes. 

Noah made a low noise. 

“Daniel.” He sounded… broken, and as Dan looked up, his heart stopped at the sight of Noah’s face. There was so much longing in his eyes, so much yearning in the way he looked at Dan, and he could see him openly clenching his hands into fists. 

Before he could say anything, Noah reached out, very carefully touching a finger to the screen, and Dan was sure he was caressing his face. He swallowed a quiet moan at the idea of Noah’s hand on his cheek. 

“I wish I was there,” Noah whispered, leaning closer, those honey-colored eyes darkening as he tracked every move Dan made. Which wasn’t much - he was frozen in place. His skin felt too tight for his bones; even the soft glide of his shirt was too much. 

“Then I could touch you,” Noah said lowly, his voice breaking at the end. He cleared this throat. 

“I would pull you close,” Noah continued hoarsely, never once taking his eyes off Dan. “And I would kiss you.” 

Dan’s breath caught in his throat - he could imagine it so clearly, could almost feel Noah’s warmth against his overheated skin. 

“I would bury my hands in that glorious hair of yours, and I would hold you there, kiss you with everything I have. It would put all those screen kisses to shame. Hell, it would be too damn hot for any screen, to be honest.” Noah’s voice dropped even lower as he slowly licked his lips, staring at Dan as if he could make him feel it through sheer will power. 

Dan whined; he couldn't help it. His fingers prickled with the desire to curl them around Noah’s neck, pressing himself hard against his sturdy body, holding him just as tightly as Noah would hold him. Heat bloomed in the pit of his stomach and quickly spread through his body, making his cock twitch and his pulse race. 

“I wouldn’t be able to stop though,” Noah continued lowly, “I’ve been wanting this for so long, you’d probably have to push me away.” 

“Never,” Dan croaked, hanging on his every word. 

“Good, ‘cause I could spend hours, hell days, kissing those beautiful lips, finally find out how you taste, how you feel-” Noah’s voice trailed off, and the desperate sound that filled the air, broke Dan’s heart clean in two. 

“I want that,” Dan murmured, “I want all of that.” 

Noah growled and Dan shivered, the sound chasing goosebumps over his skin. 

“We will make that happen, I promise,” Noah said, hooded gaze boring deep into Dan’s, making him bite his tongue to not fling himself at a fucking laptop screen. 

They stared at each other for a long time, the air around them crackling with unfulfilled desire. Noah’s erratic breathing calmed down, and unconsciously Dan matched his own with him. He felt his racing heart slow down a little, and the heat in Noah’s eyes gradually subsided. 

“Im sorry,” he muttered eventually, slumping back into his seat, shaking his head as if to clear his mind. “I got a bit carried away.” 

“Don’t you dare be sorry for that,” Dan replied, adjusting himself in his loose sweatpants. 

Noah noticed, and he groaned deeply, biting his lower lip, his own hand vanishing from view. His face was a sight to behold: eyes screwed shut, head falling back and Dan was almost sure he could see his pulse hammering at the side of his neck. 

“Dear God,” he whispered, not able to tear his gaze away. His fingers curled involuntarily around his hardening erection. 

“Fuck,” Noah cursed, which made Dan giggle helplessly. Noah swore so seldomly, and this one was so heartfelt and real. “Give me five minutes, okay?” 

Not waiting on Dan’s answer, Noah switched off the camera and the microphone, and Dan was staring at a black screen. He could see his own reflection and was shocked for a moment as to how beside himself he looked. His hair was a mess, his cheeks were burning, and he could feel his heart thrumming wildly in his chest. 

Flopping back into his chair, he took his glasses off, and rubbed his hands over his face, taking deep, calming breaths. 

The air was warm around him, soothing his frayed nerves. He tried not to think, not to over analyze what had just happened. 

Leaving the laptop open, he stood and walked into the kitchen to splash some water on his face. He stared out of the window above the sink, not really seeing anything, letting this new, strange reality settle around him. Then he dried his face, poured himself a big glass of wine and wandered back outside. 

The sun was setting behind the hills, casting the backyard into fuzzy shadows. The sky was taking on beautiful shades of pink, orange and gold, a few stray clouds lazily sailing past, and for one perfect moment Dan pictured himself walking back outside to Noah after dinner, settling into his arms to enjoy the quiet of the dawning evening. 

And in this moment he knew he had to do something about it. Noah had been the one being brave, had been the one who wanted to talk about their relationships right from the start. Dan had always denied him that, had always pushed any conversation about it away, mostly to keep his own heart safe. And Noah had waited, had been patient, had Dan let set the pace, while they both stayed in limbo, caught between friends and lovers, neither able to make that one last step. 

And it had been Dan’s fault. He wouldn't make the same mistake twice. 

Hurrying back, he checked if Noah was still dark, then pulled up a few websites, scribbling down a few notes for later investigation.

He heard Noah’s rustling mic before the screen came back on, and he quickly closed all open windows. 

The sight of Noah sitting back down, hair wet, face red and slightly out of breath, was breathtaking. He still wanted to reach out and touch him, but now that he had a plan, he could try and keep himself in check for a bit longer. 

“Did you actually take a cold shower?” Dan asked, putting his glasses back on and peering at the screen. 

“Well, not really cold, but yeah,” Noah grinned sheepishly, tousling his hair. 

Dan hummed, not able to form words; the images in his head were enough that he considered a cold shower himself. 

Noah cleared his throat. 

“So. I think we need to talk?” It sounded like a question and the slight insecurity in his words tugged on Dan’s heartstrings. 

“Well, I think we’ve pretty much established that we’re on the same page here,” Dan said, swallowing around the lump in his throat. Noah’s face lit up in the most beautiful smile, and Dan wanted to kiss him. 

“Yeah, I think we are. Question is, what are we going to do with that?” 

Dan took a sip of his wine, desperately trying to conceal his grin, not wanting to give away anything. 

“We could have dinner?” he said once he felt in control again. 

Noah tilted his head. 

“Like this, you mean?” He gestured between their screens. 

Dan nodded. 

“Yeah, why not. I mean, if Ted and Alexis can do it…” He quirked a smile at Noah, who looked thoughtful. 

“Then we should manage just fine,” he said after a moment of consideration. “I’d love that.” An idea darted visibly over his face and his expression turned mischievous. “We could cook together, make the same thing.” 

Dan groaned, waving one hand dramatically through the air, almost spilling his wine. 

“You do know that I can’t really cook, yeah? I mean, you’ve seen my videos?” He held his breath for a second, but the blush on Noah’s face was answer enough. He smiled happily. “So you know that I can only make waffles and cookies. That’s not really cooking.” 

“The curry looked okay enough,” Noah shot back, “and I know for a fact that you make a mean pizza.” 

“So you’re saying we should have pizza for our first date?” As soon as the words were out, Dan’s eyes widened. But Noah only smiled at him, nodding. 

“I’d love that,” he said quietly, the smile still lingering. “Our first date. On Zoom. With pizza.” He let the words dance over his tongue. “Sounds perfect.” 

Dan’s heart was once again hammering too fast, and he could only nod. 

“Then let’s make a grocery list.” 

It’s way past midnight when Dan eventually said goodnight to Noah. He still sat on the dark terrace, listening to the night, a small smile dancing over his lips. 


	7. NOAH

“Ready?” 

“Ready!” 

“Shit!”

“What?” 

“Battery is low, one second.” 

Noah watched how Dan darted out of the kitchen. He could see Redmond in his bed by the door. 

“Red,” Noah called, wondering if the dog could even hear him. “Reddy.” 

The dog lifted his head, looking around, and Noah chuckled at the confused look on his furry face. “Here, boy,” he said, watching as he stood up, trying to find the source of the voice. 

“Stop confusing my dog,” Dan said as he wandered back into the kitchen, charger in hand. He petted Redmond’s head on his way over, shooing him back. He plugged in the charger and arranged the laptop on the worktop. 

“I'm not confusing him, just reminding him that I’m still here, missing him.” 

Dan’s face did one of his beautiful ‘cycling through at least five different emotions’ thing and Noah sighed wistfully. 

“He misses you too,” Dan admitted, watching as Red settled back into his bed, resting his head on his paws with a quiet woof. 

Noah was sure he wasn’t solely talking about the dog. After they finally managed to get their shit together, the repressed longing in Noah had broken free and he could barely keep it contained. He missed Dan with every fibre of his being. 

But he had a plan. And it was already in motion. 

Pushing those thoughts to the back of his mind, he pulled the laptop closer, tilting the screen so Dan could see him. 

“Ready?” 

“Yes!” 

The next half hour they spent with rolling dough, mixing sauces and cutting ingredients, bickering about the things that belonged on a pizza. 

And despite the fact that they weren’t in the same room, it was as close to perfect as it could be under the circumstances. Watching Dan meticulously spread sauce over his dough, a deeply concentrated crease between his brows made Noah’s heart sing. 

“Are you doing your toppings any time soon or am I eating alone?” Dan asked dryly, peering at the screen. 

“Sorry, I got distracted by your creative choices over there,” Noah quipped, glancing at the monstrosity Dan had created. 

“Excuse you, one cannot have enough cheese on one’s pizza.” Dan glared at him over the top of his glasses, and Noah could barely keep from kissing the camera. 

“Mine has just the right amount of cheese, thank you very much,” he said instead, carefully maneuvering his creation into the oven. 

Dan huffed dramatically before doing the same, setting a timer for them both. He lifted the wine glass he’d poured himself when they started and raised it towards Noah. 

Noah scrabbled for his own, gesturing towards the screen. 

“Here’s to a successful first date,” he grinned, making Dan squint at him, that infuriating half smile dancing over his lips. 

“It’s not successful yet,” he said, pushing his glasses up his nose. 

Noah raised his eyebrows questioningly and Dan broke. He laughed lowly. “The pizza’s not out of the oven yet,” he said, taking a sip of his wine. 

Noah rolled his eyes at him, the smile on his face a constant by now. His cheeks started to hurt a bit; whenever he looked at Dan, he couldn’t help but smile. Seeing him this relaxed and at peace, quarreling over everything and nothing was a joy to witness. 

Noah hadn’t realized that even though he presented otherwise, Dan had been just as wound tight about their whole situation as Noah. Neither had really shown it, but now that they were officially dating -if only through Zoom- Dan was the most serene Noah had seen him since Italy. And it was beautiful; _Dan_ was beautiful. 

Sitting back, Noah watched him clean up the mess he’d made. He was wearing a rather tight white t-shirt and a soft beige cardigan with pushed up sleeves, tight black jeans and Noah’s eyes lingered on his legs more often than not. Who could blame him? Dan’s legs were a thing of beauty, long and muscular, the dark fabric hugging his ass perfectly, 

“When you’re done drooling, can you tell me again what we wanted to make for dessert?” 

Noah flinched as Dan’s face loomed in front of the camera, his eyes knowing and amused. 

“Dessert?” Noah asked dumbly, mesmerized by the one stray strand that fell onto Dan’s forehead, curling just above his eyebrow. 

Dan sighed deeply, leaning against the counter, adjusting the screen. 

“Yes, commonly known as the sweet dish that comes after the main course,” he said slowly, pushing the strand away. It instantly fell back and Noah couldn’t tear his eyes away. 

“Did we even decide on dessert?” Noah asked. 

Dan bristled, throwing his hands in the air. 

“Of course. What dinner is complete without it? What kind of cheap date are you?” 

Noah propped his head on his hand, staring at the screen. 

“A very cheap one?” he suggested with a shrug. 

Dan made a disgruntled noise, but Noah could see the laugh lines around his eyes. He pulled up a chair and sat down, mirroring Noah’s pose: chin on his fist, gazing at the camera. 

They kept watching each other silently; and Noah realized he’d never been happier. Sure, the circumstances weren’t ideal and he'd rather be there with Dan, wrapping his arms around his waist, nuzzling that soft patch of skin below his ear. But overall it was everything he could have wished for. 

The shrill ringing of the timer pulled them out of their reverie. They both went to check on their pizzas; Noah’s was done and he took it out, arranging it on his plate. Casting a glance at Dan who was busy cutting his own pizza, Noah smiled and picked up the laptop to carry it to the living room, setting it opposite his chair on the small table by the window. 

It was already dark outside and he lit the candle he insisted on for them both. He darted back into the kitchen to get his wine and then sat down, adjusting the screen so that Dan could see him. 

He watched as Dan did the same on his end: arranging the laptop in the dining area of his kitchen; Noah could see the open door leading to the backyard, the curtain gently blowing in a soft breeze. It was still day in LA, but the light was already taking on the soft pre-sunset glow. 

“You want some music?” Noah asked as Dan sat down. 

“If you have anything good, yeah.” 

Noah rolled his eyes amused. 

“If I have anything good, he asks,” he murmured, pulling up the playlist he arranged especially for the evening. He adjusted the volume and hit play. 

Dan's face lit up as he recognized the first notes. 

“You sneaky bastard,” he said, the affection in his tone belying his words. 

“Only the best for you.” 

Dan looked at him for a long time, head tilted to the side, a barely there smile lingering on his lips. Having Dan’s full attention was addictive and he didn’t really want to stop. 

But. 

“The pizza’s getting cold,” he said, clearing his throat. 

Dan huffed. 

“Well, we can’t have that. Especially if we don’t have dessert.” 

Noah chuckled. 

“Enjoy.” 

They ate in silence, glancing at each other while the music echoed around them. Halfway through, Noah took his phone, tapping away on it, and put it away before Dan noticed. 

“Puh, I think there _is_ such a thing as too much cheese,” Dan sighed as he stared at his last piece. 

“Told ya,” Noah grinned. 

Dan shot him a glare and leaned back. 

“Thankfully, one can re-heat it.” 

“Of course.” Noah grinned, pushing his plate away. 

Just as Dan wanted to say something, his doorbell rang. 

“You’d better get that,” Noah said casually, even though his stomach flipped. He watched Dan stand up. Switching off the music, he turned up the volume and leaned closer, trying to hear anything. But all that came through was the quiet singing of the birds in Dan’s yard. 

It took him excruciatingly long to come back. When he flopped into his seat, the paper bag in his hand, the look on his face was something Noah wanted to bottle up and enjoy for the rest of his life. 

“You did not?” Dan breathed, holding up the bag almost accusingly. 

“Oh, I totally did,” Noah said, not able to control the massive grin on his face. Ordering from Little Dom’s had been easy, getting it to Dan at the perfect time had been a bit nerve wracking, but they had assured him it would only take about ten minutes to Dan’s place. 

“As I said, only the best for our first date.” Noah said quietly, watching as Dan opened the bag. He giggled as Dan pushed his face into the bag, inhaling deeply. 

He muttered something that Noah didn’t catch, but as he emerged again, the expression on his face told Noah all he needed to know. 

“Eat, before they get cold,” he said, getting the small tub of ice-cream he’d gotten as his own dessert. 

Dan disappeared to get a fresh plate. Noah couldn’t get enough of his face as he pulled the small batch of pancakes out, arranging them lovingly on the plate. 

Dan kept glancing at Noah as he tucked in, making small moans of happiness that had Noah wishing he could be there. Instead he forced himself to go and make some coffee, willing his cock to behave, which was hard as he could still hear Dan moaning. 

Eventually he was finished, a content smile dancing over his face. 

“Okay, maybe you’re not such a cheap date after all,” he quipped before he stood to make himself some coffee as well. 

“Why thank you, you're not too shabby yourself,” Noah called after him, hearing Dan’s laughter waft back. 

When he came back, he picked up the laptop and walked outside, settling into one of the cozy looking chairs on his terrace. 

They were silent for a while, Noah watching Dan who was looking out into his backyard, a contemplative expression on his face. 

“What is it?” Noah asked softly. 

Dan shrugged, glancing at Noah, giving him a shy smile that made Noah’s heart jump. 

“I was wondering,” Dan started, looking away again, a sudden nervousness making his motions jerky as he gestured a hand through the air. 

“About what?” Noah kept his voice low, sensing the mood change. 

"What… why…what is it that attracts you to me? I’ve been told I’m very difficult. You worked with me, you know I'm not the easiest person to be around all day. Yet here you are, doing all this-” Dan waved a hand around, indicating their strange situation. “I don’t really understand.” His voice was small, insecure, and Noah wanted nothing more than to reach out and hold him tightly. 

Dan had his insecurity mostly under control, and it rarely showed up like this. The success of the show had made him more confident, in his work and also in his private life. But the past six years he had been busy as hell, he never had time for anything even remotely close to a relationship, he’d been all about the work. Noah was sure that what he and Dan had was probably the closest Dan had been with someone new in a long time. 

The friendships he had were old, going way back, some people had been in his life for over a decade. They had known him before everything, during his times at MTV when he was starting out, and they had cheered him on and supported him as the show eventually took off. He trusted them, that was obvious, and he loved them fiercely. But he had a hard time making _new_ friends, letting new people into his life. 

Working together always created an intimacy that was often misleading; it was one of the reasons why Dan had picked mostly people he knew and had either worked with before or knew through friends. He was careful around new people, and he needed a long time to trust them. Compared to most people in Dan’s life, Noah was basically a stranger. So he understood where the uncertainty came from. 

“Well,” Noah said, smiling reassuringly at Dan, “let me think. What has me attracted to you? You're absolutely gorgeous, for starters. You have the most expressive face I've ever seen. You're passionate about everything you do. You're kind, so kind. You treat the people in your life with so much love. You're funny- and no, you would've been funny even if Eugene wasn't your dad. Plus, you said you got that from your mom. I could watch you all day, just taking in everything you do. Every day I discover new things about you. You know what you want, and you do everything to make that happen. And sometimes less understanding people think that makes you difficult, but it really doesn’t.” 

Noah exhaled, searching Dan’s eyes. Dan was staring at him, mouth open, taken aback by all the things Noah just told him. 

Noah shrugged a bit awkwardly, taking a sip of his coffee to hide the flush on his face. He was head over heels for Dan and he basically just confessed it all to him. Wondering whether he had gone too far -even though Dan had asked- Noah peeked at the screen. 

Dan’s face was motionless, and Noah would’ve given everything to read his mind right now. 

The silence stretched and Noah squirmed under Dan’s scrutiny. Eventually he couldn’t stand it any longer. 

“What about you?” he asked croakily. “What do you want with someone like me?” He’d aimed for carefree and teasing but it came out way too earnestly. It still made Dan smile and the tension dissolved a little. He cocked his head, making a show of thinking about it. 

"You're talented, and funny and _normal_. When you grow up with all sorts of famous people around - yes, even if dad tried to avoid that, they were always just there - you pick up all sorts of weird quirks and you don’t want to become like that. But you can’t help but find people like that, or have them find you. And you become guarded and careful, you wanna be more than just someone’s son. It took me a very long time to carve out a space where I was just my own person, and not that famous actor’s son. You're nothing like that. Even though you basically grew up in the industry, you're unscathed by it. You say what you think, no matter how harsh it seems. You’re open and honest and speak your mind, and I lo- like that about you. You don’t care if someone’s famous, if they’re an asshole, you tell ‘em." 

It made Noah groan and hide his face in his hands. He’d done that more than once, and always regretted it. But he’d met a few obnoxious people by now and his decency always demanded that he put them in their place, no matter how famous they were. 

“See, and that’s why I like you,” Dan continued, a smirk tucked into the corner of his mouth. 

“Plus, I like your music,” he added, making Noah laugh quietly. The tense atmosphere had entirely dissolved and he could breath a bit easier. 

“I aim to please,” he muttered, winking at Dan. 

“That you do.” 

Their eyes met, and some mute understanding sizzled between them. Noah held his gaze, feeling himself relax under Dan’s warm gaze. 

“I wished you were here,” Dan said wistfully, “you always make me feel-” His voice trailed off as he searched for words. 

“Complete?” Noah supplied tentatively. It was how he felt when he was with Dan, and he had the small hope that Dan felt the same. 

Dan nodded. 

“That’s it, yes. Complete.” 

They watched each other silently; the last puzzle piece had fallen into place for them and Noah knew Dan had felt it too. 

Noah reached for his wine glass. 

“How’s that for a successful first date?” he said as he raised the glass towards the screen. 

Dan huffed, shaking his head, but the amused look on his face belied his actions. 

“Definitely one hell of a first date, that's for sure,” he quipped. 

“Here’s to more to come.” 

“Can’t wait.” Dan’s voice was soft and full of yearning. 


	8. NOAH

Noah was nervous and he tried to stop the trembling of his hands by clenching them hard around the steering wheel. 

The sun was blinding and he squinted through the windshield, trying to see the house number. He was still blown away by the sheer extravagance of some of the houses, even though he knew this was still one of the more modest areas of LA. The streets were empty enough for him to drive slowly up the hills, trying to find the right spot. 

And then he arrived. He checked the number twice before parking the rental car opposite. 

For a moment he just sat there, breathing deeply, for the millionth time wondering if he was doing the right thing. But then Dan’s face popped into his head, the barely concealed yearning in his eyes, and Noah nodded sharply to himself. 

Just as he was about to get out, his phone rang, making him jump. Plucking it from the dashboard, he grimaced as he saw the caller ID. 

“What?” he barked, his nerves getting the better of him. 

“Rude. Getting cold feet, are you?” Stacey’s voice was loud in his ears and he shushed her without even noticing. 

“No,” he lied. 

“Yeah sure.” Her laugh was sweet and Noah regretted his harshness. “Listen, I just talked to him. He’s still got no clue. He’s been tested yesterday for that home shoot in a few days, he’s good.” 

Noah nodded, even though Stacey couldn’t see him. 

“And I’ve got mine here, in case he wants proof.” 

“He can call me if he’s still too worried.” Her voice was gentle and caring. “I’ll verify you.” 

Noah swallowed down a quiet sob. 

“Stace?” 

“Hm?” 

“Thank you.” Noah’s throat closed up and he squeezed his eyes shut. “For everything. I owe you big time.” 

He could almost hear her smile, and one small tear escaped as she made a soothing noise. 

“Oh please, I’d do anything for the love life of two of my favorite people. Now get your ass up and in there. And Noah?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I don’t want to hear anything from either of you for at least 24 hours, you’ve got loads to catch up on.” Noah could almost hear the quotes around the last words and he snorted. 

“You’ve got the dirtiest mind in all of Canada,” he said. 

“Aw, thank you. Go get him, tiger.” 

Before Noah could reply, she’d hung up. Putting the phone in his pocket, Noah let his gaze wander over the house again. Dan’s house. In LA. Only a few metres away from Noah. 

His nerves came back full force and he tried to breathe them away. 

His phone chirped with a text. 

‘GET IN THERE.’ 

Sometimes Stacey’s sixth sense was scary. 

But it was what helped Noah get here. Well, partly. He had already thought about trying to get to Dan, make the trip down to LA - the borders had been opened again for essential travel. Not that seeing the man you’ve madly fallen in love with was essential according to border control. 

That’s where Stacey came into the picture. She’s helped him look up a valid reason: which in his case was the small but significant lie of traveling to see his _husband_. They hadn’t really wanted any proof and had taken their word for it as Stacey made their inquiry into whether or not he could actually travel. From there on it was almost too easy. 

He’d booked a small Airbnb just outside of LA to quarantine the required two weeks. He arranged for a Corona test after that, just to be safe, and to have something to show to Dan. Noah knew he was very strict with himself, and he would never risk his health, not even for his own needs. 

And so Noah had flown in a little over two weeks ago, double masked and drenched in sanitizer, barely daring to breathe. Thankfully he was able to get a seat in first class, which was barely booked - it had felt like a ghost flight, he counted about 20 people on the entire plane. Once he’d arrived at the small condo, he ordered groceries, settling it. 

Then he waited. He didn’t dare call Dan, fearing he’d give away the surprise. He’d told him he was busy with some new work, keeping it vague. He felt Dan’s frustration at not seeing each other, but he knew it was for the best. They texted a lot; and he talked to Stacey way too much according to her. She teased him mercilessly, but she also kept tabs on Dan. 

He was back to working; nothing big yet, and nothing that required him to leave the house. He was about to do a recorded monologue, and there was the odd table read via Zoom for future projects.

Noah was worried about catching him at a bad time, but Stacey assured him there was nothing too pressing in his future. And nothing over the weekend, Dan was adamant about that, trying to keep to a normal working week. 

So Noah had picked a Friday for his surprise. It was early afternoon, and Stacey had made sure that Dan was free, expecting her to call for a much needed catch-up. 

Steeling himself, he put on his mask and opened the car door, once again shocked at the dry heat that assaulted him. He locked the car and slowly walked over the street, climbing the steps to the heavy doors guarding Dan’s home. 

His heart was hammering hard as he rested a hand on the dark wood. There was a small buzzer next to the door, and he pressed it before he could overthink it. 

He heard a melodious bell ring out inside, followed by a low bark. 

Biting his lip he stepped back. He could hear low murmuring and the clicking of paws on tiles. Then the door opened, and Dan peeked out. 

And for a moment Noah was taken aback that he was right there in front of him. 

He was wearing a mask, no glasses and a deep frown on his forehead. 

“Yes?” he asked roughly, squinting at Noah. “Can I help you?” 

The whole situation was so surreal that Noah was barely able to control the overwhelming need to throw himself into Dan’s arms. 

Instead he straightened his back and met Dan’s wary gaze. 

“I really hope so,” Noah managed to say through the heart in his throat. 

Dan actually staggered back, steadying himself on the open door. 

“Noah?” he whispered brokenly, his eyes wide as saucers. 

“Hi,” Noah muttered, hands clenching tightly by his side. 

Dan blinked at him, the shock on his face so intense Noah couldn’t look at it for too long. He pushed a trembling hand into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out the result from his test. Holding it out to Dan, his voice wavered as he said: 

“Been tested two days ago, haven’t been anywhere since.” 

He could see tears spring to Dan’s eyes as he took the piece of paper. He didn’t look at it though, he kept staring at Noah as if he was an apparition. 

Noah lifted his hand, taking off his mask, smiling shakily at Dan. 

“Can I come in? It’s a bit too hot out here,” he croaked, stuffing the mask in his back pocket. He then pulled out the small bottle of sanitizer and quickly disinfected his hands. Holding them up to Dan, he tilted his head. 

“Okay?” It was barely a whisper, but it finally pulled Dan out of his shock. 

He nodded, stepping aside to let Noah in. Inside it was cool and dim after the brightness outside. Redmond waddled towards him as quickly as possible, tail wagging excitedly, and yapping as he recognized him. 

“Hey Red,” Noah said, squatting down to pet him, making sure the dog didn’t lick his hands like he normally would. Instead he ruffled through his thick fur, overly aware that Dan was staring at him, still as a statue. 

Noah let go of Redmond and stood up again, turning towards Dan, quirking a shaky smile at him. 

“Can you please say something?” he asked, nervously shuffling about, wondering if he had ruined everything. 

Dan’s eyes widened even more. He raised a hand and slowly took off his mask, putting it into a small bowl by the door. Then he stepped forward, eyes glued to Noah’s face. His mouth was quivering, and Noah noticed the red marks on his lower lip where he must’ve bitten it. 

Not moving Noah watched as Dan stopped in front of him, close enough that he could smell his cologne. A small groan worked its way up his throat, echoing around the large foyer. It apparently shook Dan out of his stupor. 

With a muffled cry he stumbled forward, pushing Noah back against the door. His mouth was on Noah’s in a heartbeat, kissing him with such desperation that Noah whimpered loudly against his lips. He managed to wrap his arms around Dan’s waist, whining as he felt his solid body against his own. 

Dan pressed against him, and Noah was glad for the door behind him. His knees buckled at the first hot touch of Dan’s tongue against his own. He tasted of coffee and chocolate, and Noah was instantly hooked. Pulling Dan closer and pushing himself up, he kissed back, hungry and aching for more. Dan’s hands roamed over Noah’s arms, his neck, nails scratching almost painfully over his scalp as he slid them into Noah’s hair. The noises he made drove Noah wild, the soft groans shooting through him like electricity, leaving him weak and trembling in Dan’s arms. Noah wanted to melt into him, wanted to kiss him for the rest of time. His own fingers slipped from Dan’s waist over his back and up into the messy curls. He moaned at the softness of his hair against his palms. Dan whined into the kiss, pressing Noah harder against the door, kissing him like his life depended on it. 

The sounds they made rumbled through them both, making all of Noah’s hair stand on end and his toes curl. He could feel every shiver, every tremor that shook Dan’s body, and he wanted to memorize every second of it. 

But he also needed to breathe. Timidly he eased the kiss, nipping on Dan’s lower lip, gasping a few short breaths to keep from passing out. 

“No,” he heard Dan growl, and that was all the warning he got before Dan sealed his mouth back over Noah’s. He held on, trying to kiss back as fervently as Dan. 

He lost track of time altogether. All that mattered was Dan in his arms, his lips against his, his tongue wet and slick in his mouth, making Noah slowly lose his mind. His entire body was on fire, every nerve was singing, he could only hear Dan’s low moans and his own blood rushing in his ears. 

Eventually Dan eased up, turning the feverish kissing into something languid and slow, deep kisses alternating with sharp nips at Noah’s lower lip until he pulled back, panting heavily. 

His eyes were dark and wild, flickering over Noah’s face as if trying to assess whether he was really real. 

Noah lifted a shaky hand, resting it against Dan’s flaming cheek. Dan moaned deeply, pushing into Noah’s palm. The utter trust he conveyed in that small gesture almost made him lose the last bit of his composure. 

He threw his arms around Dan’s shoulders, pressing his face against his soft, scratchy neck, breathing him in. His stubble tickled his tender lips, chasing sparks down his spine. 

Dan clung to him just as desperately, his breathing erratic and shallow. Noah heard him sniffle and he squeezed his eyes shut to keep his own tears from falling. 

They held each other for a long time, slowly getting used to being in each other’s arms, finally being able to touch and being touched. 

Dan was the first to pull back. The way he looked at Noah took his breath away; his eyes were swimming with tears and the smile on his bruised lips was blinding. 

He lifted a hand, fingers dancing over Noah’s shoulder like they’d done so many times before. But they had never conveyed such deep emotion as Noah could see and feel right now. And as his wandering hand found Noah’s face, running over his brows, his nose and his lips, he closed his eyes, leaning into Dan’s touch. 

“You’re really here,” he whispered, his other hand slipped down Noah’s arm, fingers twining with Noah’s and squeezing hard. 

“I am,” Noah croaked in reply, not able to say more. 

Dan made a strangled noise that chased goosebumps over Noah’s skin, and he rested his forehead against Dan’s. Dan immediately pulled him close, arms tightening around his back. Noah could feel Dan’s heart against his chest, it was racing just like his own. 

Redmond’s low complaining woof made them laugh, and they let go enough to look at each other. 

“I can’t believe it,” Dan muttered, hands aimlessly wandering over Noah’s shoulders, his arms, his hands. He kept touching as if to make sure he wouldn't suddenly disappear. Noah could relate. 

“Well, you’d better,” Noah said hoarsely, not able to tear his gaze away from Dan. 

Dan huffed a watery laugh. 

“I need a drink.” And without further ado, he entwined his fingers with Noah’s and tugged him along into the kitchen. Not letting go of Noah’s hand Dan wrangled the fridge door open and grabbed a bottle of wine. He held it up to Noah who nodded, following Dan as he plucked two glasses out from a cupboard. Only as he tried to pull the cork with one hand, he realized that that wouldn't work. 

Noah laughed, trying to let go of Dan’s hand. But he shook his head, holding on tightly. 

“No. You’ll disappear on me and I’ll realize it’s all just a very vivid dream,” Dan pouted and Noah’s heart wanted to jump out of his chest. He leaned in, brushing a soft kiss over the pout. 

“I won’t disappear, promise,” he murmured against Dan’s mouth. 

“Better not,” Dan huffed but he let go of him, impatiently opening the bottle and pouring them two glasses. 

He raised it, opening his mouth but nothing came out. Noah chuckled and raised his own glass. Wordlessly they clinked their glasses together, taking a deep drink. 

Dan’s stormy eyes were still dancing over Noah, taking in every small detail and Noah wanted to bask in this much attention. Suddenly Dan grinned widely, and it was Noah’s turn to drink in all the small details he never saw on a small computer screen. The way the skin crinkled around his eyes or that the small dimple on his cheek was hidden under his stubble. 

“I need to show you something,” Dan said lowly, setting his glass down. Their hands tangled together as if they’d never done anything else, and Noah followed Dan back out into the foyer. Dan gestured into the far corner and for a moment Noah didn’t know what he was supposed to see. Then he noticed the suitcase. He turned towards Dan whose face was so expressive Noah wanted to catalogue every single expression. 

“I had a plan. I guess it was the same one you had. You’re allowed to travel when you have immediate family in Canada. Which I have. I’ve already booked a flight, pushed my schedule and made arrangements for Redmond. I wanted to quarantine at my parents’ house, and then come and see you.” 

Noah stared at him speechlessly. But before he could say anything, Dan cocked his head at Noah. 

“You don’t have immediate family in the US,” Dan said almost accusingly, and Noah ducked his head, making a face. 

“I might have lied a little,” he admitted, blushing. 

Dan’s eyes narrowed. 

“What did you tell them?” 

Noah rubbed his free hand over his neck, avoiding Dan’s sharp eyes. 

“Imighthavesaidyouremyhusband,” he rushed to say. 

Dan’s eyebrows jumped up. 

“Come again?” he asked. 

“I might've said I needed to see my American husband,” Noah sighed, squeezing his eyes shut in embarrassment. 

Dan’s hot lips against his own made him moan. He was quickly getting very addicted to Dan’s kisses. Burying his hands in his hair, he kissed back, luxuriating in the fact that he could do this now whenever he wanted. 

“You’re amazing,” Dan murmured in between kisses, “fucking crazy but amazing.” 

“Yeah, crazy about you,” Noah whispered and Dan made a shocked little noise that had Noah’s heart skip a beat. He pulled him back, kissing until he was breathless again. 

“Show me the house?” Noah asked, leaning back after one last lick against Dan’s lower lip. 

Huffing a laugh, Dan looked at him, a twinkle in his eyes. 

“You really wanna see the house?” he asked. 

Noah rolled his eyes, scraping his nails over Dan’s neck. 

“Your bedroom then?” His heart fluttered at that. 

He had never been with a man and he knew the logistics were a bit different. But he’d also had more than enough time to do some research, explore a little and he knew with absolute certainty that he wanted Dan to show him everything he didn’t know yet. 

They hadn’t really talked about it before as it wasn’t really an option. The thoughtful look on Dan’s face told Noah that now that it was a possibility, they probably should.

“Maybe not right now,” Dan said reluctantly, even though his body told a different story. 

Noah nodded, pushing the hair out of Dan’s face.

“You’re right, maybe later.” He kissed him briefly again, still processing that he was really here. But they had all the time in the world right now. No need to rush anything. 

“I think I need to sit down,” Dan muttered, and Noah noticed that he was swaying. 

Cursing, he wrapped his arms around him and walked them into the next room. It was the living room, with high ceilings and tastefully arranged furniture. Noah maneuvered them to the couch and they fell into the plush cushions, giggling a bit hysterically. 

“Wine,” Dan said, and Noah laughed, dropping a kiss on his forehead. He stood, willing his own wobbly knees to stop, and hurried to the kitchen to get their glasses. Bringing the bottle back he flopped next to Dan, handing him his glass. 

Dan emptied the rest in one long drink and then scooted so close to Noah, that he was almost on top of him. He nuzzled his neck, his fingers in constant motion as they ran over Noah’s body. 

Then he froze, sitting up straight. 

“Shit, Stacey wanted to call me. I don’t wanna talk to her.” He sounded almost petulant and Noah threw his head back, laughing hard. 

“She won’t call,” he said once he could breathe again. “In fact, she doesn’t want to hear anything from us for at least 24 hours. She’ll kill me if either of us contacts her.” 

Dan frowned, and then understanding dawned on his face. Noah watched in awe. 

“That little snake,” Dan said with a grateful smile. 

“We owe her big time,” Noah said, pulling Dan into his arms again. They shuffled about until they were laying nose to nose on the large couch. 

“We do, yes. Now I understand some of those weird calls I had with her.” 

Noah hummed, brushing his lips over Dan’s, sighing happily as he instantly opened up to him. They kept trading lazy kisses, and Noah quietly told him all about his plan and how Stacey helped with it all. 

They fell asleep in each other's arms just as the sun started to set, casting the room in golden twilight. 


	9. DAN

Dan woke like he always did these days, slow and slightly reluctant. He couldn’t really tell which day it was, even though he had tried to keep a proper schedule, work Monday to Friday, keep the weekends work free. But the days blurred into one another, and after months of this, he had stopped caring or setting an alarm. Unless there were any scheduled interviews, he got up when he woke on his own. Most days Redmond helped with that: the dog still needed his walks, so Dan tried to do right by his furry friend. 

He could feel sunshine on his face, and hummed contentedly . At least summer was finally settling in, making the lockdown a little more bearable. He’d left the windows open last night, letting the morning breeze in, which was already warm and fragrant. 

Rolling over, he grabbed his phone, squinting at the time. It was still early, earlier than he’d woken in a long time. He dropped the phone back on the nightstand and stretched luxuriously. 

The soft grumble next to him made him shoot up in bed, heart suddenly racing. But as he looked over, he chuckled at himself and carefully laid back down on his side. Three days and he was still surprised that he wasn’t alone. 

Noah was still sound asleep, flat on his back, starfishing on the normally empty side of Dan’s bed. The sheets were pooling around his hips, the threadbare shirt he slept in twisted around his torso revealing bits of his stomach. The early morning light painted his pale skin in a golden hue. His hair was a shimmering auburn mess, curling crazily around his head. His mouth was slightly open and he made a soft snuffling noise on every third breath. 

Dan felt his mouth twitch into a sappy grin as he took in all the tiny details he was still getting used to. 

The barely visible freckles on his nose, and the faint stubble on his cheeks that looked surprisingly rough but felt like worn velvet. Dan’s face heated up as he reached out, ghosting a finger over the redness on Noah’s neck, caused by Dan’s own stubble. 

They’d kissed so much over the past few days that Dan’s lips were a bit tender, and they tingled deliciously as he unconsciously licked them. Noah’s parted mouth looked just as bruised and Dan wanted nothing more than to continue where they had stopped last night . 

But he needed to brush his teeth first, probably pull a comb through his hair; Noah’s hands were almost constantly tangled in it, wreaking utter havoc on it. 

With one last look he slipped quietly out of bed and into the bathroom, closing the door so as not to wake Noah. He groaned as he looked into the mirror. His hair was indeed a total mess, and there was a dark bruise just below his jaw, which shot a hot spark through him as he carefully touched it. There were faint shadows under his eyes, evidence of lack of sleep which was just wrong, even though it had been very worth it. Scolding himself he grabbed his toothbrush. 

~

15 minutes later he walked back into the bedroom, face still slightly damp with moisturizer, and he bit back a laugh at the sight. 

Redmond had hopped onto the bed and was carefully sniffing at Noah’s body. Whenever his nose touched bare skin, Noah made the most adorable complaining noise. But he didn’t wake up and as the dog reached his shoulder, he licked over it, eliciting a huffed grumble. Noah rolled over and Redmond flopped down between his and Dan’s pillow, attentively watching Noah sleep. 

“Red, no,” Dan whispered as he saw the dog opening his snout, no doubt wanting to lick Noah’s face as he’d done to Dan more often than not to wake him. 

Redmond’s looked at him, and Dan had to press his lips together to not laugh at the utterly exasperated look on his little face. 

“Down,” Dan shushed before he crawled back into bed, pulling the dog away from Noah. Red huffed an annoyed woof and Dan scratched his head to appease him. He sat cross legged on his side of the bed, Red in his lap, just taking everything in like it was the first time. 

It was still so new to have Noah around. The past three days had been incredible. 

Dan still had work to do, there had been Zoom interviews and a final table read for the remotely filmed monologue he had agreed to do. So he didn’t have the time he wanted to give Noah, but he’d only waved him off, settling into Dan’s life as easily as breathing. 

He’d explored the house and the backyard, taken Redmond for walks so Dan could keep working. Every now and then he had his own interviews, which he did from the guesthouse just so he didn’t disturb Dan. 

He made good use of the small piano Dan had gotten himself for lockdown, and when Dan ran late, Noah cooked for them.

Dan’s heart always felt too big for his chest, when he caught Noah’s eye over the laptop screen or when he flashed him a soft smile from the sofa. 

Dan hadn’t been unhappy in recent years, he loved his life and often enough his single status. But Noah filled every last bit of himself that had been empty - not overly empty, just enough to sting every now and then but not enough to let it take over his life. Now he felt like bursting, wanting to yell his happiness out into the world, letting everyone know that Noah was there and his, completing him in ways Dan hadn’t even been able to imagine. 

“I’m feeling watched.” Noah's rough voice made Dan smile. 

“That’s because you are being watched,” he said softly. 

Noah chuckled lowly, the sounds embracing Dan like the warm sunshine coming in through the windows. Noah stretched, making all sorts of noises that Dan wanted to listen to on loop, and rolled over, facing Dan. He blinked his eyes open, and once again the affection in their brown depth took Dan’s breath away. 

“Morning,” Noah croaked, voice a bit hoarse from disuse. 

“Morning.” 

“Mornin’, Red.” Noah reached out, ruffling the dog’s head who pressed into Noah’s touch just like Dan had done last night. Noah chuckled softly, catching Dan’s gaze. He was probably thinking just the same. 

“Why are you awake?” Noah asked, shuffling closer, his hand moving from the dog to Dan’s leg. His touch sent a jolt of heat through Dan. 

“I have no idea,” Dan said, humming happily as Noah scraped his nails over the inside of Dan’s thigh. Noah’s eyes narrowed at the sound and his touch became a bit more purposeful; his fingers slid higher and Dan shuddered. 

“And yet you’ve been up already?” Noah inquired, the soft caress on Dan’s thigh sending sparks through his body. 

Dan nodded, words suddenly stuck in his throat. He watched as Noah pushed the covers away, shuffling closer to Dan. He gently pushed Red away and the dog hopped off the bed with a huffy bark. Dan grinned but then Noah pulled him down, and he stretched out next to Noah,. whose hand was now wandering over Dan’s stomach. 

“Have I told you that you’re utterly gorgeous in the morning?” Noah asked, pushing his hand under Dan’s sleepshirt. 

“Hm, no,” Dan managed to say, distracted by Noah’s fingertips sliding through the hair on Dan’s stomach. 

“Well, you are,” Noah said, shoving the shirt out of the way. He leaned over, placing soft kisses on Dan’s skin. He felt each and everyone connect, and each and everyone sparked a wild desire. “Absolutely beautiful. All soft around the edges, tousled and stunning.” Noah pressed the words into Dan’s skin, nosing further up with every word. 

They hadn’t really talked about it, about having sex. Dan knew Noah was new to all this. He had never slept with a man, but he already told -and showed- him that he was a quick learner. Dan didn’t want to pressure Noah into anything, and he had seemed happy with making out on the sofa, rutting against one another, finishing each other off with clumsy hands shoved into pants. 

But this felt different, Noah took his time, exploring every patch of Dan’s skin, hands roaming over Dan’s chest, pushing the shirt all the way up. 

“Off,” Noah said, not looking up to see if Dan complied. His entire focus was on Dan’s chest, his stomach, causing goosebumps and small shivers. Dan felt himself getting hard in his pants, could feel Noah’s hardness against his leg, pressing hot and heavy into his thigh as he leaned over, trailing the tip of his tongue up and around Dan’s hardening nipple. 

“Ahh,” Dan sighed, arching into the heat of Noah’s mouth. 

Noah gently shushed him, paying the same lazy attention to his other nipple, twirling his tongue around until Dan was panting, hands curled into the sheets. 

“You can touch, you know,” Noah murmured, grazing his teeth over Dan’s collarbone. 

“Didn’t wanna disturb your concentration,” Dan quipped weakly. It fell flat due to the tremor in his voice. 

“Don’t worry, not even a fire alarm could stop me right now,” Noah said, pressing his nose against Dan’s neck, inhaling deeply. “I’ve always been jealous of Patrick.” He kissed and nipped at the sensitive skin, and Dan groaned loudly. He’d always loved it when Noah kissed him there. It had always been fleeting, barely there, just a small thing he had incorporated into Patrick, that Dan had missed more than he’d ever admit when filming wrapped for good. 

“I could always tell when you were nervous or excited,” Noah said, the words low and soft against Dan’s neck. “I could always feel your pulse there.” Noah licked over said pulse, making Dan gasp at the feeling. “I think that was when I knew that I maybe had a chance. At first your pulse had been steady like a metronome. Until one day it changed, and became erratic, stuttering, racing. That was when I told myself ‘Noah, maybe he likes you as much as you like him’.” 

Dan moaned helplessly, his hips thrusting up. Noah reached down, curling one hand around his hip bone, pressing him into the mattress. 

“I was wondering if you could feel it too. Could feel my heart racing when we hugged. Could maybe hear it hammering whenever we were close.” 

Noah pressed against Dan’s side, his cock hot and hard against the curve of Dan’s hip. His free hand slipped into Dan’s hair, gently nudging him to move his head. Dan had his eyes screwed shut, but as Noah’s nose brushed against his cheek, he turned into him, immediately opening to Noah’s hungry mouth. 

The hand on his hip eased off and fingertips danced over the waistband of his pants, teasing until Dan growled into the kiss. He was already on edge and Noah had barely touched him. But there was something in the slow slide of his tongue against his own, mixed with the quiet words he’d spoken so confidently that made Dan hurtle helplessly towards his orgasm.

If only Noah would finally get his hand- _OH_. 

As if reading his mind, Noah slipped his hand into Dan’s pants, curling strong fingers around his straining cock. Dan whined helplessly, thrusting into the much needed friction. 

Noah didn’t ease their kiss; he deepened it, matching it with the slow, long strokes around Dan's throbbing cock. 

Dan was falling apart; the sensation of Noah all around him, kissing him with such passion and at the same time knowing just how hard to touch him was almost too much. He arched into it, not knowing whether to break the kiss or thrust harder into his hand. 

“Shh, I got you,” Noah murmured against his lips, speeding up his motion just as Dan whined again. Heat coursed through him, setting every nerve on fire, and as Noah started humming softly into the kiss, Dan cried out, coming almost violently into Noah’s hand. 

Panting, his head fell back, gasping for air as his orgasm rolled through him, making him spasm uncontrollably. Noah stroked him through it, gentling his touch the second Dan whimpered. 

“God, you should see yourself,” Noah whispered, leaning back enough to look at Dan who blinked hazily at him, too dazed for anything else. 

“So much better than in my imagination.” Noah ran a shaking hand through Dan’s hair, the other sliding off Dan’s cock, creeping towards his own. 

“Oh, hell no,” Dan groaned. He was still a bit wobbly as he rolled them around, shuffling down Noah’s body and getting rid of his underwear. 

“My turn.” 

He had been wanting Noah in his mouth for longer than he could remember and he finally had his chance. Shuffling down, he pressed his nose into the crease of Noah's hip, deeply inhaling his scent, warm and musky and _Noah_. He scattered sloppy kisses over his burning skin, steadying himself before slipping between Noah’s spread legs. His mouth watered as he ran a trembling finger over the length of his cock, drinking in Noah’s strangled whine. 

He curled his hand round the base, giving the head a perfunctory lick. Noah’s taste exploded on his tongue, making him dizzy with arousal. Growling lowly he took him down, eyes watering as Noah filled his mouth so completely as if he was made for it. 

He dropped his free hand to Noah’s balls, feeling the heavy shudders shaking Noah’s frame. Then Noah pushed his hands into Dan’s hair, pulling him away and he let go with a filthy pop. 

The look in Noah’s eyes could’ve scorched Dan’s flesh clean off his bones if he hadn’t been just as much on fire as Noah. 

“Daniel,” Noah grunted, and it was plea and command all rolled into one. Dan smirked, let his tongue dance over the head of Noah’s cock. His eyes darkened even more and he pushed his hips up, rubbing it against Dan’s lip. 

“ _Please_ ,” he urged, falling back into the sheets and Dan took him back in. He didn’t tease, didn’t draw it out; all he wanted was to finally get him off, see him falling apart so completely that Dan would have a hard time putting him back together. 

He sucked him deeper, squeezing his eyes shut, reveling in his taste and his scent and the broken moans. Noah was chanting his name now, voice cracking more and more. Dan felt his body coil together like a spring just before breaking and he doubled his effort. Noah’s hips lifted clear of the bed and he came with a muffled cry, hips stuttering into Dan's mouth so much that he had to put an arm over them to keep him steady. 

Eventually Noah collapsed, melting into the mattress. He grabbed Dan, pulling him up and into a messy filthy kiss, tasting himself on Dan’s tongue. He held him close, hands in his hair, not caring about the mess on Dan’s stomach or the state of the sheets. 

After a while Noah broke away, panting against Dan’s lips, nipping and licking less feverishly, his hands now roaming lazily over every bit of Dan he could reach. 

“You’re fantastic,” he mumbled against Dan’s neck, making him preen a little. 

“I could get used to that,” Dan replied, scrunching his nose at the slowly drying come on his body. “I need a shower,” he said, not moving. 

“Want some company?” Noah asked speculatively. 

Dan grinned, shaking his head at the heated glint in Noah’s eyes. 

“You just came,” he admonished, gesturing dramatically over their naked bodies. 

“So? I’ve got to make up for all the lost time,” he shot back, pulling Dan into a brief, bruising kiss that left Dan’s entire body thrumming with burning want. 

Despite that, he pulled back, slowly rolling out of bed. 

“Well, *I* need some time to recover so-” He winked awfully at Noah and wandered off, still hearing Noah’s heavy sigh as he sauntered away, hips swaying more than strictly necessary. 

“You’re a menace, Levy,” Noah called after him and Dan laughed softly to himself as he turned on the shower. Just as he was getting in, Noah stumbled into the room, blindly reaching out for Dan who pulled him into his arms. 

“I still don’t understand how one needs two showers in one?” he said, planting a kiss on Dan’s shoulder and went to brush his teeth. 

Dan shrugged. “It just came with the house.” 

Noah shook his head, spitting toothpaste into the sink.

“Where’s the fun in that?” He gestured at the large shower stall with his toothbrush.

“You could throw a fucking party in there. Where I come from, you’d squeeze in there, clinging to each other to not fall.” 

Dan chuckled, stepping inside the indeed rather huge glass shower, groaning as the hot water hit his sticky skin. 

“But you can do other things in here,” he called over the running water. 

Only moments later Noah was pressed against him, his skin cool as he wrapped his arms around Dan’s slick shoulders. 

“Hm, and what would that be?” he purred, nipping at Dan’s earlobe. 

“Something we still have to find out,” Dan shot back, grabbing his shampoo. “After breakfast.” 

Noah pouted loudly, but when Dan offered to wash his back, he relented. He also knew not to get in between Dan and his food. 

~

Half an hour later they wandered into the kitchen, and even though Noah had been here only three days, they already had a routine down. 

Noah put on coffee and poked through the fridge to see what they had in, while Dan cleaned and refilled Redmond’s food and water bowls before he threw open the patio doors, letting some air in and the dog out. Then he went to set the table on the terrace while Noah made breakfast. 

Dan always asked if he could help, but Noah was apparently determined to make Dan the perfect breakfast. He shooed him back out, told him to sit and relax, and Dan did. 

It was already pretty hot out, and for a moment Dan was tempted to go back inside to change into shorts when Noah brought out a large tray which held French Toast, a bowl with leftover strawberries, bacon and to Dan’s delight the two Kuzumochi that Noah had apparently hidden away from their delivery last night. 

“I’m so keeping you around,” Dan teased as he poured coffee for them both. 

“Hm, you say that now. Just you wait until the novelty has worn off,” Noah shot back, winking at him as he sat down. 

“I doubt that’ll ever happen,” Dan muttered into his coffee. It made Noah smile. 

They ate in content silence. 

Dan had always felt... if not locked in, definitely contained during these past months. He knew he couldn’t really complain: he had a big house, a huge backyard, and wasn’t restricted by money. Others had it way worse. His confinement wasn’t that bad. But now with Noah here - It felt different, oddly freeing. Dan knew that it didn’t make sense, yet it was what he felt. 

He glanced over at Noah who was munching on his toast, feeding small bits to Red who was sitting next to his chair, not quite begging but watching every bite very carefully. 

“Red, no,” Dan chastised the dog, making Noah grin, shrug and sit back. 

“You’re not only spoiling me but also the dog now?” Dan asked, biting back a smirk. 

Noah laughed. “No, I’m buying his love in order to get yours.” 

Dan froze, faintly aware that Noah also stopped moving. Dan blinked at him, watching in awe as a deep blush colored his cheeks. He swallowed hard, his mouth opening but nothing came out. 

They stared at each other motionless across the table. Dan felt his heart pounding heavily in his chest. Noah recovered first, rubbing a hand over his neck, but he didn’t break their eye contact. 

“I’d say I’m sorry for springing that on you without warning, but I’m not really sorry,” he said quietly. 

“You already have it,” Dan whispered, wringing his hands nervously, “no...no need to bribe my poor dog.” 

The smile that bloomed on Noah’s face as Dan’s words registered was something that Dan wanted to memorize, write sonnets about and yell out into the world. 

“Have I?” Noah asked lowly, and the raspy quality of his voice made Dan nod helplessly. He watched as Noah stood, carefully stepping over Redmond and rounding the table. Holding out his hands to Dan, he laid them in his and was pulled up. 

Noah’s hands framed his face, warm and steady, his brown eyes bright and affectionate in the morning light. 

“And you have mine,” Noah whispered before he sealed his mouth over Dan’s, kissing him so sweetly that Dan wanted to live in that kiss. He wrapped his arms around Noah’s shoulders, pulling him even closer, deepening the kiss. Having Noah in his arms, feeling his breathing getting uneven was quickly becoming Dan’s favorite thing in the world. They kissed slowly, unhurriedly; Dan trying to press all his chaotic emotions into Noah’s mouth, against his lips, too overwhelmed and so grateful that he was allowed to have this. 

Noah broke the kiss, resting his forehead against Dan’s, like he’d done so many times in the past days, and Dan wondered how such a small motion could feel so intimate. 

Dan’s hands had started to wander, roaming over Noah’s back, feeling his warmth through the thin shirt. He wanted to lay him down and explore every inch of him, wanted to kiss all those secret places he’d dreamed about for so long, wanted to take him apart so entirely and then put him back together with his hands and his lips and-

His phone rang loudly into the quiet and he jumped, surprised. 

“Fuck,” he grumbled, making Noah chuckle . He kissed that spot on his neck that made Dan lose his mind and let go. 

“You’d better get that, could be important,” he said, caressing his cheek. 

“What could possibly be more important right now?” Dan complained. But he let go of Noah with a whine, reaching for his phone on the side table. 

Noah only chuckled as he sat back down, feeding the last bit of his toast to Redmond. 


	10. NOAH

“Dan? Daniel?” Noah paused, eyeing the motionless heap under the covers. He bit back a grin. “Danny?” 

Dan grumbled in protest, pulling the covers further over his head. Noah muffled his laugh at the adorable complaints, and pushed his hands under the covers, caressing Dan’s warm side. The grumbling turned into something less grumpy. 

“Come on, sleepyhead, wake up.” Noah leaned down, speaking lowly into Dan’s wild bedhead. 

“First off, we’re  _ not  _ doing Danny. Ever. And second, why? I don’t have anything on today?” Dan muttered, scooting closer to Noah. 

“Yes, you have,” he said, as he ran his hand through Dan’s hair. 

“No, I don’t,” Dan complained, “I know for a fact that I have nothing scheduled for today.” 

He still pushed his head into Noah’s hand, making soft mewling sounds. Noah wanted to curl up next to him, but there were more important things right now. 

“That may be true, but there’s still something very important happening today. Or rather, has happened already and you’ve slept through it.” 

Dan emerged from the covers, blinking confusedly at Noah who was beaming at thim. Dan made a questioning noise, rubbing a hand over his face. Sitting up in bed, he looked for his phone, and Noah saw the panic flash over his face as he couldn’t find it. 

“Yeah, I took it into the living room,” Noah said, interpreting Dan’s search correctly. “It was vibrating off the nightstand.” 

He himself was basically vibrating out of his skin with excitement. Dan glared at him, confusion mixing with slight annoyance. 

“It’s too early for games, Noah,” he murmured, blindly reaching for his glasses. But before he could put them on, Noah framed his face with his hands, holding him still. He brushed a soft kiss over his lip, chaste and mindful of morning breath. 

“It’s almost noon,” Noah corrected, exhaling deeply, searching Dan’s hazy gaze. “Daniel, you and your show just got fifteen Emmy nominations.” His voice was low, the words very enunciated and yet Dan kept staring at him uncomprehendingly. 

“Huh?” he said very eloquently, which made Noah chuckle again. 

“FIFTEEN Emmy Award nominations,” Noah repeated very slowly, eyes boring into Dan’s as if he could make him understand through sheer will power. 

Dan blinked, and blinked some more, the words echoing around the room. Noah caressed his cheek, pushing some stray curls out of Dan’s face, patiently waiting for him to understand. 

“What?” Dan croaked, staring into Noah’s face as if it held all the answers. 

Noah’s smile never faltered as he leaned in, rubbing his nose against Dan’s. 

“You broke the record for most Emmy nods by a comedy series in its final season,” he whispered against Dan’s lips. 

Understanding slowly bloomed on Dan’s face, and he gasped as the full realization hit him. 

“You, Eugene, Catherine and Annie all got an individual nod, then series, casting, costumes-” Noah pulled back, glancing down at the phone in his hand. “-editing for two episodes. Hairstyling, sound-mixing, make-up. Writing, also two episodes. and directing. For the last episode.” His smile hurt his cheeks as he looked at Dan whose jaw had almost literally hit the floor. He snapped his mouth shut, trying to regulate his breathing; he was close to hyperventilating. 

“I need to lie down,” he muttered, flopping back into bed which made Noah giggle. He clambered further into bed, sitting cross legged next to him, one hand in Dan’s hair. 

“Holy shit,” Dan whispered eventually. 

“Yep,” Noah said, smirking at him. “You fucking showed them,” he said, his voice wavering a bit. 

“ **_We_ ** fucking showed them, it was a group effort,” Dan whispered hoarsely, his expressive face so  _ raw _ , Naoh slid down next to him, resting his head on Dan’s chest and for a while they just held each other, breathing together. Noah heard the low buzzing from the other room; and Dan must’ve too because he lifted his head, peering around with a frown. 

“Oh, that’s probably your phone. Hasn’t stopped buzzing since the nom’s came in,” Noah said, snuggling closer. “And as much as I hate to say this, you should probably get up and get ready. There’s been loads of emails too. They look urgent.” 

Dan shook his head, pulling Noah back against his chest. And he was fine with that, he wanted to bask in the moment for a bit longer. 

Just the two of them. In their little quarantine bubble. They had only a few days left before they were allowed back into the world. 

They’d flown into Toronto a week ago, quarantining at one of the massive highrises most Canadian film productions set up their cast and crew in these days. 

And Noah couldn't complain. The apartment was huge, they had a balcony with a stunning view over Toronto and 24/7 delivery services. Three times a day someone came to take Redmond for his walks. Normally Dan would’ve left him home, but they didn’t really know how long they were going to stay so he’d taken him with them. And Noah was glad, Redmond’s calm presence helped Dan settle in. It was one thing to be cooped up in his house in LA, but a totally different thing to be actually locked down at a much smaller place. At home he could at least go for a walk or do his own shopping. Here he wasn’t allowed to leave at all, and without the dog curling up under his desk or in his lap when he got nervous Noah would’ve been lost. 

Not that he didn’t know how to distract and calm him, but sex couldn’t solve everything. And as much as Noah enjoyed it, he wasn’t 20 anymore. 

Still, living with Dan was just as he’d imagined - perfect and unpredictable. 

After months of longing and not being able to be in the same place, they made good use of  _ finally  _ being together. They’d spent hours making out like teenagers, giving lazy handjobs in the shower and trading sweet kisses when they crawled into bed at night. 

They cooked together - or Noah cooked and Dan assisted as much as he could. He really wasn’t the best cook, but he did have a few tricks up his sleeve when it came to desserts. 

And they talked. About everything and nothing. More than once they had talked away the night, surprised when the sun came up without them even noticing how late it had gotten.

Noah had had a few concerns about living with Dan, especially after they decided to go to Toronto; in Dan’s house they could get out of each other’s hair if they were too much for each other - here the space was limited and neither could’ve just gone for a walk. 

But he needn’t have worried, they fit together like puzzle pieces. 

There were moments when Dan was pacing the rooms, muttering to himself before he flopped behind his computer and didn’t emerge for hours, the sound of the keyboard the only thing Noah heard. 

And then there were moments when he curled around Noah on the couch, fingers absently sliding through Noah’s hair, quiet and thoughtful, listening to him tinker with a new song, sometimes even requesting him to sing something. 

But every now and then they just were silent together, especially when their respective days had been stressful. Then they were wrapped around each other on the sofa, no tv, no music, just their slow breathing filling the still air. Or they were sitting on the small balcony, sipping drinks, the city lights glittering below, the warm summer air cooling their faces. 

It was awfully domestic and blissful; and horribly annoying for their friends who zoom’d in and got basically the equivalent of happy newlyweds. Stacey gagged when they couldn’t stop touching each other, and Trevor complained lovingly that Dan would never call him again now that he finally had Noah.

Soon they would have to leave all this behind and go back into the real world, go back to work. The world was adjusting to the pandemic, and even though nothing was even close to normal, things were picking up again. Film and tv productions were coming back to life, with heavy restrictions and lots of testing. It was still fickle, there was constant advancing and rearranging, failure and improvement, to get the industry back on its feet. 

But despite the odds, opportunities arose - Noah had done some self tapes and had gotten a few offers, and Dan was sought after more than either of them could’ve imagined. 

Thinking about leaving all this behind and returning to the real world was something Noah could’ve happily put off for a little while longer. 

Alas, that wouldn’t be possible. 

He pressed a kiss to Dan’s forehead and rolled out of bed, pulling the covers off of Dan. 

“Come on, I’ve made coffee, I’m sure you’ll need it,” Noah said. 

Dan muttered, clambering out of bed, and Noah’s eyes wandered appreciatively over his naked body. He was still getting used to it, that he was allowed to see Dan like this, stripped down to his core, figuratively and literally. Usually he hid his kind heart and his tender soul behind thick sweaters and cool behaviour, trying to protect himself from the cold world with designer fashion and dry sarcasm. Noah had slowly peeled away all those layers, and his heart always stumbled when Dan was just himself around him, open and vulnerable and fragile. 

Noah walked over and wrapped his arms around him, just held him tightly, nose pressed into the crease of his jaw. He smelled warm and sleepy. Dan hummed contentedly, pulling him close, resting his cheek in Noah’s hair. 

Then Noah’s phone started to ring and they parted reluctantly, Dan shuffling into the kitchen and Noah to pick up his phone. 

“If he doesn’t immediately answer my call, I’m going to divorce him,” Trevor said sternly, making Noah laugh. 

“He just got up, and I think he’s still processing,” he replied, following Dan into the kitchen, watching him fumble with the coffee pot. 

“It’s past noon,” Trevor complained without heat. 

Noah only grinned. “You know how he is.” He could almost hear the gentle smile on the other end. 

“I do. Is he awake enough to talk to me?” 

“I’m sure he’ll make an exception for you. One second. Dan, it’s Trev.” 

Dan instantly made grabby hands at the phone, and with a smile Noah handed the phone over. He kissed Dan’s naked shoulder and went to check what he could feed him. He had the feeling he would need all the sustenance today. 


	11. DAN

Dan closed the door and leaned against it, exhaling deeply as he slipped out of his shoes. It was late, so late that Redmond only lifted his head when they stumbled back in, huffing somewhat annoyed and went back to sleep. 

Dan could relate. He was exhausted, a bit drunk, and his ears were still ringing from the music at the party. And the statue in his hand was getting heavy. He carefully put it on the floor, he didn’t have the strength to lift it to the dresser. Its gold form shimmered dull in the faint light of the apartment. There hadn’t been enough statues tonight -they would be sent by courier in the next few weeks- but everyone had insisted that he take one home with him. 

It stared at him from the floor, and he stared back, thoughts a bit dizzy. His eyes hurt. Taking off his glasses he wanted to rub his face. 

“Dan, no, hands.” Noah’s voice drifted through the quiet air and Dan sighed deeply. 

“Right,” he muttered, putting his glasses back on and shuffled into the bathroom to thoroughly wash his hands. The lights were too bright and he squinted into the mirror. His face was red from alcohol, there was a small dent on his cheeks from the mask and his hair was all over the place, sticking up every which way. Dan blamed Noah who couldn’t keep his hands out of it. 

As if summoned by his thoughts, Noah appeared in the door, watching him with a soft smile as he leaned against the frame. He’d already taken off the suit jacket, and with his loosened bowtie and his relaxed posture he looked shockingly similar to Patrick on their last day of shooting. 

Something in Dan’s chest twisted and his view became a bit blurry. 

“Hey,” Noah said gently, stepping closer and wrapping his arms around Dan’s waist from behind. 

He leaned back into Noah, the overwhelming emotions still bubbling under the surface. Noah pressed a kiss against his shoulder, holding him tighter. Their eyes met in the mirror. Noah looked just as disheveled as Dan, but his gaze was burning brightly into Dan’s. He quirked a sleepy smile at Dan, and then he slipped the buttons of Dan’s jacket free. Stepping back he eased it from Dan’s shoulders. Dan whined as he let go, but he soothed him, putting the jacket on its hanger at the bathroom door. 

He gently nudged Dan to turn, which he did, leaning heavily against the sink. 

“I’m so fucking proud of you,” Noah murmured as he carefully slipped Dan’s tie free, adding it to the jacket. “You absolutely killed it out there.” His fingers danced over the buttons of Dan’s shirt, slowly opening one by one, pulling the tails from the skirt. His palms rested on Dan’s stomach, his eyes shining in the bright lights. “You were the most gorgeous creature out there tonight.” His hands started to slide up, mapping out Dan’s rips, making him squirm as he hit a ticklish spot. “I mean, you always are to me,” he muttered, letting his lips follow his hands, kissing Dan’s chest, making him sigh. “And I know you can pull off the skirt like nobody else, but this-” he gestures a hand over Dan’s rumpled outfit. “-is just fucking stunning. And I’m not just saying that cause you’re a fucking Emmy winner now.” 

Dan huffed a watery laugh, leaning in to press a kiss to Noah’s temple. 

“So are you,” he murmured, letting his hands wander over the expanse of Noah’s back. 

“We all are.” Noah stepped back again, pushing Dan’s shirt off and hanging it next to the jacket. “But you are _mine_ ,” Noah whispered, his voice low and breaking at the last word. Dan whimpered and tipped forward, knowing Noah would catch him. 

Their kiss was uncoordinated and sloppy and shot blinding heat through every nerve of Dan’s body. He fumbled for the buttons on Noah’s shirt; they were slippery and tiny and he growled, frustrated. Noah snickered, leaning back, pulling the shirt clumsily over his head, dropping it carelessly on the ground. Dan made a soft protesting sound but Noah tsked him, pulling him into another deep, slow kiss and Dan forgot about it. 

He felt himself being moved around, and then Noah pressed him against the wall, pinning him with his weight, never once breaking the kiss. Dan lost himself in the slick slide of their tongues, in Noah’s hands all over his body, shivering at the cool air on his heated skin. 

Noah’s fingers slid to the side, deftly opening the button and the hidden fly of the skirt and it fell to the floor. Kissing Dan’s stomach on his way to pick it up, Dan watched with a fluttering heart as he gave it the same care in hanging it up as he did with the rest of Dan’s clothes. 

“I love you.” The words tumbled out of his mouth before he could hold them back. They never really said them out loud even though the sentiment had been there, probably even longer than either of them had wanted to admit to themselves - or each other. 

Noah’s easy movements stilled, and for a long moment he just stood there, one hand on Dan’s hip, the other on the clothes hook. 

Dan bit his lip, eyes squeezed shut and holding his breath. His thoughts were swirling, doubt and a slight panic making his hands shake. Was it too early, too soon to say it out loud? Had he ruined everything? He knew he tended to do that, blurt out his feelings, not able to control them, and more often than not he had scared people away with it. But he also knew it was the truth, had been true for quite a while. And even in these uncertain times, not knowing what would be happening the next day, the next week, he knew he couldn't - _didn’t want to_ \- take it back. A weight had lifted from his shoulders just as these three little words left his mouth, and it felt as if he was able to breathe for the first time in over a year. 

Noah’s hand slipped around his waist, his other hand came to rest on Dan’s cheek, gently tilting his face down. 

“Daniel, look at me?” Noah’s voice was very quiet, but Dan could hear the warmth in there, the patience that has always been Noah’s trademark with Dan. 

Blinking carefully, Noah’s honey-colored gaze captured his; he had the most expressive eyes Dan had ever seen and right now they were too loud, too full of stormy emotions. 

Dan swallowed hard, wanting to look away but Noah didn’t let him. He framed Dan’s face with both hands, his fingertips caressing Dan’s eyebrows, his cheeks, his thumb sliding slowly over Dan’s lower lip, making it tremble under his gentle touch. 

“And I love you.” Noah whispered it against Dan’s mouth, the words tickling Dan’s oversensitive skin. He groaned, relief and joy mixing into something so powerful he wanted to weep. Screwing his eyes shut again, he blindly leaned forward, and Noah met him halfway. The kiss was nothing Dan had ever experienced: so full of love and devotion Dan felt a few tears escape anyway. He wrapped his trembling arms around Noah’s shoulders, deepening the kiss, trying to give back just as much as Noah offered. 

When they parted, Noah’s eyes were shimmering as well, his touch on Dan’s face so tender, he had to swallow down a sob. 

“Come to bed,” Noah said, grabbing one of the large fluffy towels before taking Dan’s hand and leading him to the bedroom. He quickly stripped out of his suit, carelessly throwing it over a chair, then he draped the towel over the bed. He took off Dan's socks and guided him on his back. 

Dan sighed as he stretched out, his back twinging as he laid down. Noah slid next to him, diving into a heated kiss, pressing his naked body against Dan’s side. 

Dan lost himself in Noah’s mouth, in his touches, giving himself over to the man who owned his heart and who had given him his in return. Noah’s hands were warm and sure on Dan’s skin, leaving tiny fire trails as they roamed over his body. 

“I got you,” Noah murmured, “relax.” 

And Dan did. He was hyper aware of every touch, every slide of Noah’s calloused fingers against his skin, could almost anticipate his next move. 

“You are so beautiful.” Noah was kissing down Dan’s chest, speaking the words into Dan’s flesh, carving them into his bones. 

“Stunning and breathtaking.” His mouth had reached Dan’s hip, grazing his teeth over the sensitive curve there. He shuffled around, pushing Dan’s legs apart and settled in between them, his hands sliding up and down his thighs, slow as molasses and just as hot. 

Dan groaned as Noah’s thumbs caressed the crease of his hips, squeezing as he arched into the touch. 

“So eager. So hard for me.” Noah kept muttering, his breath hot against Dan’s throbbing erection. He hadn’t even noticed; Noah’s touches kept him distracted, was diverting his focus, scattering it in a million directions. 

“ _Noah_ ,” he keened, not really knowing what he was trying to say, but as always Noah just knew. 

“So gorgeous,” he said, licking a long stripe up Dan’s cock, making him whimper. 

“So responsive,” Noah continued, kissing the tip before he moved up Dan’s body, covering it with his own. His passionate kiss left Dan dizzy with arousal, and he watched hazily how Noah leaned over, fishing lube and a condom out of the nightstand. 

He carefully laid the condom on Dan’s stomach and flipped the lube open. Pouring some on his hand, he shuffled back, kneeling in between Dan’s spread legs. Dan stared at him, and his mouth fell open as Noah started to open himself up. His eyes were locked with Dan’s, not allowing him to look away. He tried, but as soon as his eyelids fluttered close, Noah stopped, and a quiet but sharp “Daniel” made him look again. 

“Keep watching,” Noah grunted, sweat glistening on his face, starting to gather in the hollow of his throat. Dan wanted to reach out, wanted so desperately to touch, to feel the damp skin. But as he lifted a shaking hand, Noah shook his head. 

“No.” Nothing else, just that and Dan fell back, gritting his teeth in an effort to stop himself from begging. 

His entire body felt as if it was on fire and Noah wasn’t even touching him. But the sight of him, towering over Dan, fingering himself open for Dan was almost too much. 

Noah was biting his lip, the muscles in his arm flexing as he worked another finger inside himself. He leaned forward, steadying himself with the other hand against Dan’s chest A slow smile spread over his face as he dug his fingertips into his skin just above his thundering heart. 

“So fast,” he muttered, gasping as he worked himself harder. 

Dan made a strangled noise, finally reaching out to rest his hands on Noah’s thighs. Noah flinched, the sound falling from his lips almost inhuman. 

He pulled his hand free, wiped it on the towel. Then he grabbed the condom, opened it and quickly rolled it over Dan’s straining cock. He whined helplessly at the touch, and Noah smiled shakily at him as he stroked him a few times. Dan’s world narrowed down to just that, Noah’s hand around him, knowing exactly how to touch him. 

But before he could find a rhythm, Noah let go, straddling Dan and nudging his legs together. Dan watched in shocked awe as Noah took him in hand again and then sank down onto Dan’s cock in one quick slide, making them both cry out. Noah was panting, his head tipped back, his hands digging painfully into Dan’s sides. He didn't care, he was absolutely mesmerized by the sight, his own breathing hectic and shallow. 

Taking a deep breath through his nose, Noah’s head snapped back down, his eyes so dark, Dan gasped when they met his. They looked at each other for a moment, the burning heat in Noah’s eyes taking Dan’s breath away. Then Noah winked at him and started moving. 

Dan’s hands fluttered through the air in search of a hold; he felt as if he was falling apart, shattering into a million pieces and only Noah’s heat kept him together. 

He started slow, lifting himself up inch by inch, before sliding back down, thighs trembling with the effort. He frowned as if concentrating too hard, and he probably was. They had never done this before, not like this. Dan's heart was hammering hard in his chest, and he was bursting with love for this incredible man. 

“Noah,” he croaked, grasping for his hands. Dan pulled him down into a clumsy kiss; the changed angle made Noah moan against his mouth. 

Dan pulled his legs up, knees bracketing Noah’s lower back and he gently guided him back up, giving him more leverage. The small smile on Noah’s face brought tears to Dan’s eyes. He twined his hands with Noah’s, holding him tightly before he thrust up into his slick heat. It made them both groan, the feeling was indescribable. 

“Move,” Dan murmured, deliberately relaxing again. Noah did. Clinging tightly to Dan’s hands, he rolled his hips, drawing a long moan from Dan. 

“You feel so good,” Dan breathed helplessly, “so tight.” 

Noah growled, quickening his motions. His eyelids fluttered as he took Dan even deeper, sharp ruts alternating with slow rolls, very quickly driving Dan mad. He was losing himself in the storm of sensations. Noah wasn’t holding back, moaning and sighing on top of him, the scent of their sweat filling the room. Dan’s knees were shaking with the effort to steady Noah who was more and more losing his rhythm. 

Dan glanced down at Noah’s cock, dribbling precome over his stomach, twitching every time Noah hit his prostate on Dan’s cock. His motions stuttered, and Dan wanted nothing more than to touch him, feel the heat of his cock against his palm, close his fingers around the satin-soft hardness. But he couldn’t. Noah’s hands around his were like a vice, and he was entirely lost in pleasure. 

Suddenly Noah clenched around Dan, making him cry out. He thrust up hard, and Noah pressed down, moaning so loud that Dan shushed him reflexively. Noah huffed a weak laugh, his dark eyes locking with Dan’s. 

Dan drowned in them, drinking in Noah’s ecstasy, and watched as he abandoned all care. He let go of Dan's hands, tipping forward and into a messy kiss that was all teeth and hunger and _want_. 

“Take me. Make me yours,” he whispered against Dan’s mouth and with a strangled whine Dan clutched at his hips, holding him still and started pounding into him. 

Breathless _yes, yes, god yes Daniel_ fell from Noah’s lips, and Dan doubled his efforts. He could feel his orgasm, it tingled at the end of his spine and in his stomach. With one last thrust into Noah’s tight heat he came with a garbled cry. He pressed Noah down on his cock, wanting to let him feel his release. Noah was shaking, and Dan could feel him shove his hand between their stomachs. It took only three sharp strokes and he spilled over Dan’s chest, trembling and groaning; Dan felt him tighten around him again and he muffled a scream in the pillow. Then all his muscles seemed to lose their strength and Noah collapsed onto Dan, panting heavily against his neck. 

They lay there for a very long time, Dan’s hands sliding aimlessly over Noah’s back, memorizing every shudder, every ripple of his post-orgasmic form. Eventually Noah slipped off, and Dan grunted lowly at the loss. Noah absently soothed him, flopping on his back and staring glassy eyed at the ceiling. 

Dan rolled onto his side, fingers dancing over Noah’s heaving chest, causing goosebumps to rise on his skin. 

“You okay?” he whispered eventually, a sliver of worry creeping into his own bliss. 

Noah nodded, and then he started to giggle. The sound was so sweet, so adorably out of place, that Dan pushed himself up, peering into Noah’s face. Noah’s eyes fluttered open as if he sensed Dan’s confusion. He lifted his head, brushing a kiss against Dan’s lips. 

“Yes.” He was still a little out of breath. “ I’ve never been better.” 

He fell back, the smile morphing into a wide grin that was contagious. Smiling helplessly, Dan managed to extract the towel from underneath them. He cleaned them as much as possible and dropped it over the side of the bed. Pulling the thin sheet over them, he snuggled against Noah’s side, who wrapped his arm around him, holding him close. 

Silence surrounded them and Dan was starting to doze off, as Noah moved. 

“Daniel?” 

“Hm?” 

“I just had sex with an Emmy winner.” 

Dan groaned, shoving weakly at Noah’s side who only chuckled and pulled him closer. 

“And actually you did too. With me, I mean. We all won an Emmy so-” 

“Shut up, Reid, you’re talking nonsense, go to sleep,” Dan grumbled, hiding his face against Noah’s shoulder, who kept giggling happily. 

And in this moment Dan loved him even more. For making them laugh, for knowing when Dan needed to be distracted so as not to become an over emotional mess. Noah always knew exactly what Dan needed even when he couldn’t voice those needs. 

“I love you,” he mouthed against Noah’s shoulder, kissing the salty skin, wondering how he got this lucky. 

“I love you too,” Noah replied, wrapping himself so tightly around Dan that neither knew where one ended or the other began. 

They fell asleep like that, warm, sated, and loved. 


End file.
